So this movie was really cute, I think. It was also sort of depressing?? But like a little bit funny? But also I got into my feelings several times?? Like, my eyes got all irritated due to my allergy to emotions??? So hmm??
I watched this because the description for it hit like all of my boxes. It included keywords such as: "Aimless twenty-something woman", and "AIDS". So, two of my boxes. But two really important ones.
The aimless twenty-something in question is a chick named Claudia. The movie opens up on her like...just lying in bed picking at some string on a blanket? After a while she gets out of bed to get some cereal. But it's like, saddish because her refrigerator is a fucking cooler? And when she's eating the cereal she looks really bored. There's like...no TV to watch or anything??? I never eat without also doing other things so as to never be left alone with my thoughts. And why does she pick out only the purple fruit loops and lay them on her pillow? Was she lying out food for the ants??? If yes, that is sweet. But also, more so, disgusting. Or maybe she's OCD and simply can't eat the purple ones? This is never explained, so I'm 100% just speculating. But, um, I'd really like to know!!
Claudia works at a supermarket type place, and she has what seems to be one of the least appealing jobs ever? Like, she's one of those people who has to do in-store promotions. The ones who have the little food bites on a tray but you're only supposed to take one. But this woman who comes up to Claudia's display takes like three sausage bites, fake-smiles in her face, and then just walks away. Claudia runs up to the woman and hands her a package of the product she was eating, seeing as how the woman seemed to enjoy it so much. She puts the package in the woman's cart. The woman wheels forward a bit, and then dumps the sausage in another section of the supermarket. This was funny but also I was really concerned with how terrible this job seems? Especially if you're only making commission? How do you sell people this shit? No, how does Claudia sell this shit? Who gave this quiet, introverted, sullen ass bitch a job like this?? Who decided it was a good idea to put her out front anywhere?? Claudia should be in the back stockroom taking inventory or some shit. Or working in the back of the butcher area cutting meat. Am I being too harsh on Claudia?? No, like, I liked her! But I...I just don't understand how someone could think her hardcore emoness would mesh well with a job like this. But I guess it made for good comedy?? Really it just made me depressed lol but okay.
But real quick can we talk about how Claudia had to sell the waxing kits one day and that woman came up and asked her what she's selling and Claudia is describing the product like "it gets rid of leg hair, and eyebrow hair and even moustache!!" or something and the woman like touches her face like "omg my moustache..." lol this was so awkward. Then Claudia waxes half of this bitch's moustache?????? This is a grocery store!!! And then the woman looks @ the waxing strip like "omg is it that bad???" and then she tells Claudia to wax the rest of her 'stache but Claudia gets an attitude because she wants the woman to buy the product and omg this is the most awkward fucking scene lol. But eventually the woman puts one of the waxing kit boxes in her cart after Claudia says she gets in trouble for chatting with customers and omg please!!! But yay @ Claudia for getting a sell :')
So Claudia has to get her appendix taken out. When she's being examined by the doctor before he diagnoses her, he's asking her questions about her sex life and says they'll run a pregnancy test, in order to rule out her stomach pains as pregnancy. Claudia is like it's impossible for her to be pregnant, but the doc goes ahead with it anyway. So, Claudia's a virgin, right? I feel like this is important to know, to color in her character a bit, and explain things that happen later? But also I identified with the scene where the doctor was like "do you use birth control?" and she's just like "..." lol, birth control for what???
There's a woman and her family in the bed next to Claudia's. The mom is the patient, and she has like a thousand kids. Or, four. Whatever. The mom is cute. She sees Claudia maybe being nervous, and alone, and like
she does cute stuff like this^? Wagging a little smiley face on her finger?? Like???? And then she tells Claudia how the appendix isn't necessary, to sort of make her feel less nervous?? How would I, personally, feel if some bitch in the bed next to me was wiggling her finger at me and making unprompted comments??? Likely I'd have an attitude about it. Like, who is this bitch and why is she speaking to me???? I'd probably turn the volume up really high on my TV????? But Claudia is a better person than me (everyone is)--Or is it that...she's totally lonely and any human contact is good? Well, probably not any. The mom is sweet and not, like, weird or a bitch or anything, so...her attention is welcome, I think. By Claudia, at least.
The mom asks if Claudia is alone, and Claudia says no, that her parents are waiting for her outside. This is obviously a lie. After Claudia has her surgery and is released from the hospital, the family pulls up to her in their car while she's walking home. They offer her a ride, which she half-heartedly initially declines. But they do the whole "come on come on" thing, and she gets in. Then once she's in the car they're all "HAVE LUNCH WITH US". Easily this movie could be a horror film if it wanted to be, like let's just address that. This family snatches Claudia up into their home, and they never let her go. Like, that sentence is 100% the truth. This movie chose to go in more of a dramedy route. A more cynical horrible person such as myself would have just written this as a horror film. Different strokes, I guess. Isn't it weird how Gary Coleman is dead? Lol, no. It's...it's not.
So Claudia gets to their house! Let's talk about the kids. The oldest is named Alejandra, but they call her Ale. She's sort of throwing a lot of shade to Claudia. Like, the first night Claudia sleeps over it's mentioned that Alejandra locked her door because she was afraid Claudia would steal. Like, yeah, that makes sense, lol, but it's still shade. And her attitude, as Claudia spends more and more time with them, remains sort of standoffish and cold. Like, she has no prob asking Claudia to help out with the electric bill, but when Claudia comes over to the house she won't get up off the couch to open the door and let her in. Like, I'd totally be Alejandra if I was in her position and my mom just invited some random to come stay with us. So I get it, but watching the movie I was totally on Claudia's side due to her being the protagonist and me caring about her more and all I wanted was for Alejandra to be nice and for them to be best friends forever. Whatever, this isn't America's Next Top Best Friend, I guess.
The second oldest was Wendy.
Let's talk about the secret star of the film, and how I could barely find any pics of her during my lazy ass google search. I found this^, with a fucking watermark over it, and I found
this^, from the first time Claudia ate with the fam and Wendy was being all nosy asking Claudia what her astrological sign was and shit, and talking about how she tried to be vegetarian, but it didn't last because she loves meat too much. That's what she said, but anyway.
I couldn't figure out how old Wendy was. She looked like a baby, but like an overgrown one lol idk. She's definitely not in school, so I figured at least 18? I had a love/hate relationship with Wendy. She was definitely funny, and looked 100% like Bobby Moynihan, but also she was sort of rude and a bitch?? But then they show me that scene where she has cut marks on her arms and she's making a fucking pill + alcohol smoothie and talking about it makes her sleep all day and I'm fucking tearing up and shit and idk!!! But also she just took that chocolate from Claudia when it was meant for Martha??? I don't know how I feel about you, Wendy. Like, I love you, but also I lowkey want one of your herbal tinctures to kill you??? No, that's...too much. She was lowkey the star of this movie, though. Like, more Wendy Guillén in my life thanx.
There were two younger siblings, as well. Mariana, and Armando. Mariana is doing that whole growing-up too fast schtick, I guess? Like, she's wearing makeup and trying to go to parties and shit. Armando--let's talk about Claudia and Armando's ~special~~ relationship (why...am i like this?)!!!
So...they have a cute thing going on.
Claudia draws on his face.
She delicately cleans his room while he's sleeping and like plays with his feet or whatever? She also buys him a goldfish and they just have a cutie pie ass little friendship.
ALSO. ALSO CLAUDIA TEACHES HIM ABOUT KISSING? First of all, what does Claudia know about kissing??? Who has she kissed?? I guess she read some books about it??? lol omg it was so awkward when she like demonstrated the kisses for him on her hand???? And why was the slow sensual kiss demonstration 1,000% worse than the sloppy makeout kiss demonstration??? I loved it, though. I also loved when she kissed this little boy full on the mouth later and I 100% assumed it was her first kiss. Who makes like a bashful face after kissing a child???? Armando was like "...what's with you??" Like, WHY IS THIS ADULT WOMAN PUTTING HER LIPS ON MY MOUTH? Lowkey he loved it, right? That's what I would convince myself if I kissed a kid and he was like *waka flocka face* okaaaaaay. And then after the kiss Claudia like challenged Armando to see who could swallow a whole peach? How fucking erotic FOR NO REASON.
So Claudia is pretty much fully incorporated into this family. She's living at the house, sleeping in Armando's room. She's taking the kids to school, paying bills and shit. She goes with the mom to the hospital and stays with her a lot. The mom even entrusts Claudia with things she wants to leave the kids after she dies. Is it contrived how they sort of keep her? I think if you think about it too much, maybe. They're really casual about just adopting this whole entire human being. You'd think they do this sort of thing all the time. But maybe they see Claudia as sort of a stray dog? With like patches of fur missing and it's super bony and malnourished-looking. Claudia looks fine physically, but she totally gives off vibes that she needs to be loved. So, I guess it makes sense that they keep her, and the movie handles their absorption of her fairly well. Like, if it's contrived, they make it seem...not so. Also the fact that this doesn't take place in America helps. If this movie was set in America I'd be like "lol yeah alright" and be over it like five minutes in. I would have been over it the minute Claudia, a minimum wage worker, just waltzes into a hospital and has her appendix seamlessly removed and never once afterwards mentions medical bills.
The mom has a medical emergency/sort of death scare at one point. I think she gets scared that she's definitely about to die, so she posits that the fam take a vacation. Alejandra is against it for obvious reasons, but Martha insists and they go to some beach. The whole time, I was worried that Claudia would think she was going and they'd be like "lol no bitch - family vacation". But she was totally invited and I was like phew because 100%% I was waiting for them to kick her in the side of the head and tell her to get out of the car. But this didn't take place in America so.
I felt bad for Claudia when they were at the beach. The family seemed to not be paying her much attention? I couldn't tell if this was just projection on Claudia's part, though? Like she felt insecure because she wasn't a real member of the family? They didn't seem to be actively ignoring her, they seemed to be treating her like usual lol. But maybe lowkey there was sort of an off vibe, what with them making references to past vacations and whatnot. But I don't see how it would be weird to go on vacation with Claudia when they got the bitch living in their fucking house sleeping in their beds and shit??? Honestly I think this was all Claudia. Like, most of the weirdness was in her head, I think. Like, why would she keep standing in the water after Wendy got stung by a jellyfish and everyone ran out to help her? Like...they weren't abandoning her...they were going to help Wendy??? No, I really felt like it was mostly all in her head.
Later on the mom gets sick, like she usually does, due to AIDS. She has to leave the dinner table and then later that night she's like throwing up into Armando's fish tank. Lol, was that supposed to be funny? No...no, probably not. However, I did laugh.
They cut the vacation short and take the mom home so she can go to the hospital. They all rush in to the hospital and, again, Claudia is left standing behind.
I sort of feel like she chooses to distance herself? I mean, idk, man. They accept her as family for real at this point, right? She...she could go in to the hospital. Or maybe she doesn't want to? Oh, or maybe she's scared because like ~her mom~ is dying and she doesn't want to deal with like losing another mom. She's been alone all her life and the one time she had a person they died and okay I guess I get her choice. I didn't want her to stay behind, though, and I thought when she took her pack and started walking away, that the movie would just end and I'd be like "sigh". But like after the mom dies the kids come and pick her up so she can spread Martha's ashes with them. And then the end of the movie had me trying to be buff and not cry when they played some recording Martha made, telling the kids to take out the trash and cut their fingernails and how smart they are and how much she loves them and she even included her "adopted' daughter Claudia and was all like "I don't know when I gave birth to you" and told her to never leave these family and I FUCKING CRIED GET THIS MOVIE OUT OF MY FACE.
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