The Set-Up (1949)

The imdb plot summary for this movie is like: "Over-the-hill boxer Bill 'Stoker' Thompson insists he can still win, though his sexy wife Julie pleads with him to quit. But his manager Tiny is so confident he will lose, he takes money for a "dive" from tough gambler Little Boy...without bothering to tell Stoker. Tension builds as Stoker hopes to "take" Tiger Nelson, unaware of what will happen to him if he does."

Why is his wife described as sexy? Lol, that's like all I can focus on. Why is that relevant? Like if people weren't already interested in the sort of boring sounding plot, they'd be all-go for some sexy wife pleading action???? And what is that quote on the movie poster??? "A sizzling melodrama. Brought to vivid, throbbing life in the shrewd direction of Robert Wise. Muscular entertainment." First off, fam, what the heck is muscular fucking entertainment?? MOVIES FOR MEN?? lol, spare me. And what's with all the high-drama praise for a MUSCULAR MOVIE FOR MEN MOVIE ABOUT MEN?? Sizzling melodrama? That's gay, fam. THROBBING LIFE?? Come on, Thomas M. Pryor, you're trolling. Stop it. 

Thomas M. Pryor is also a lie ass bitch. There's nothing sizzling or throbbing about this movie. It's limp, just like Thomas' dick probably around women lol why am I going in like this it's so unnecessary. 

I watched this movie solely for Robert Ryan, whom I am obsessed with. 

They open up the movie with him sleeping and it's so great. Look at this blurry ass pic of him sleeping in his outside clothes. Bobby is my princess, and I'll watch, unfortunately, any shit he's in. And being a fan of him is annoying because I hate like most of his movies lol. Like, I always love his performances, but the movies surrounding them I'm just like..."sigh, yo." It's worse when I don't even full-on hate the movie. Like, when I'm ambivalent. Being ambivalent is so much worse because I want to love it so I can watch it a thousand times over for Robert, but I'm like "...ehhh idk" and that killllsss mee!! This movie, though, The Set-Up, I was decidedly not ambivalent about. It just straight-up did not pass muster with me. 

Here's a slightly less blurry pic of Robert getting dressed to go across the street to fight in some boxing match thing. Like, why does he go through all the trouble of putting on a whole suit when the shit is literally right across the street? Like, two steps??? Just pop on a hoodie and run over? What's with the suit, fam???? As soon as you get there you're gonna have to take that shit off and put on your boxing shorts so...I don't understand??? Lol, this really bothered me. And it's not like he planned on going anywhere after the fight. He was just going to walk back across the street to the apartment motel room thing and have disgusting vegetable soup with the wifey. So????? 

So anyway! I didn't really like this cinematic effort. It was sort of...noirish? But like one of those B-sidey type noirs. One they'd let Ida Lupino direct, maybe? Except this one is directed by Robert Wise. Whom I don't know. Let me go check his credentials rq to see if I care about him. Okay, okay. My boy Robert has directed some pretty legit shit. And this particular movie isn't even terrible or like it'd be an egregious stain on his resume, I just thought it was sort of basic and not doing anything new. Like, not doing anything new in like 1949, when still people were capable of actually doing new, you know??? 

What I liked was: Robert Ryan being here, random hot actors who played the boxers, that guy who played Tiny, the short duration time, when the movie ended. 

What I didn't like: 

Why is Danny's doofy ass from Leave Her to Heaven here? I hated him so much in that, that I hate him so much in anything. My hate will never die. It will only grow. 

Little Boy's aura. This nigga looks like a thumb. I don't like his vibe, it's rubbing me the wrong fucking way. First of all, what the fuck kind of gangster name is Little Boy??? Lol, when they kept saying this shit I was like "what little boy? where???" When his girl was saying "Little Boy look over here!" or whatever, I was expecting some little black boy to come onscreen and start shining somebody's shoes. Then it became worse when I realized this bitch was addressing a grown ass man. Or at least a lizard disguised as a grown ass man. 

But my guy is playing some intimidating mafioso, I guess? Lol, alright. Like, he's scary, but...but not in the way you'd expect a head mobster type to be, you know? He's scary like in a "Why does ol' boy who delivers our milk never blink??" "Why does the postman have substantial child-bearing hips??" "Where is that dental assistant's chin? Why does his head just go straight into his neck??" Scary in that sort of way. Like if you knew Buster Bluth in real life. And what was up with his punishment for Stoker? You know when he runs away and they catch him in the alley and Stoker punches LB? Little Boy's like "He'll never use that hand again muahah". I straight-up thought he was gonna saw this nigga's arm off. But then they cut back to Stoker and he still has both his hands??? He's just like beat up?? Apparently they smashed his hand with a brick? Like, okaaaaaay, you got off easy???? What the fuck kind of non Al Capone ass treatment is that??? Little Boy doesn't have the stuff. He doesn't even have any lips!! A nigga with no lips shouldn't be allowed to be in a gang! That should be a rule. You aint got protection from the heat, and what's supposed to catch all the nose bleeds you'll be getting from gang-related stress and abundant cocaine usage?? Hmmm, Little Boy, hmmm??