keir dullea, gone tomorrow: Fake Deep: Love Jones (1997)

I've been wanting to see this movie for a minute. It's one of the few romantic black films from the nineties that I haven't seen. Oh my goddddd, there were so many good romantic black films then, right? Like the nineties and then a little it spilled into the early aughts with a few things? Sigh, that shit is over now. There's going to be a resurgence, though. I know it. More (good) black romantic films, I can smell it! I'm excited, but there's definitely been a major drought, and all anyone who loves these types of movies can do is just rewatch all the old shit. My faves are...Love & Basketball (obviously), Poetic Justice, and maybe...The Wood. And by faves, I mean movies I rewatch obsessively, but there are a ton of other romantic black movies from that era that are good and I really like and please go back to making them? And no, not that Steve Harvey shit, or that WRETCHED About Last Night remake, or that fucking wedding movie where Paula Patton was marrying Laz Alonso and wasn't Kevin Hart's annoying ass in that too?? Keep Kevin's little rat ass OUT of my black romance movies. THANK YOU, SIR!! Thanks!! No! Thank you!!!!!

Love Jones was a movie from this good era of black movies that I missed. I think when I first knew about it...I was uninterested. Larenz Tate's small ass is not, like, a romantic lead for me. Though I like his acting, I'm not tryna see his liddle ass put it down. But! I kept hearing people throwing this movie out every time there was like a "What's your favorite black movie/romantic film?" sort of conversation. So it got me interested.

I finally watched it the other day on youtube because my life is in shambles and watching movies on youtube is, like, something that is a constant. Youtube movie watching shouldn't...be anyone's constant, BUT HERE WE ARE!!

Off top: I hated this movie. Lol, no...no. Hate is...too passionate a word. But I definitely wanted it to immediately go off like two seconds into watching it. I was like, instantly disgusted with how sort of smug and fake-deep and ~I write poetry~ Tate's character Darius was. I was so fucking over it before it barely even began lol like please and goodbye. I will say, though: I am an extremely cynical and ugly person lol. Like, some nigga reading poetry and talking all that I will ejaculate a million orgasms into you or whatever the fuck...makes me want to vom. If some nigga, WHOM I JUST MET, dedicated some crusty ass poem like that to me, I would call the police.

That whole...scene at the bar/poetry slam was so disgusting. Do people really go to bars where niggas are reading poetry? Are drunk niggas really into that? lol okay. I guess in the delusional world of this movie they are? OMG AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT WHEN NINA WROTE "LOVE" ON DARIUS' HAND AND HE WAS LOOKING ALL SHOOK. This movie was so corny and extra wayyyyyyy too soon in the game, spare me.

However, I repeat: I am rotting internally :)

So I'm watching this movie through the lens of someone *Joanne Prada voice* HYPER-KRITIKUUUL, who can't just...accept what is presented to me, as is? You know, like, these characters are corny. Particularly Darius. I am almost certain they are intentionally written that way. Like, Darius is a writer and he's so a writer. And it's like, accept he's a sort of smug, annoying ~dude of the pen~ and try not to be too eyerolly. But, sigh, I couldn't help it. My feelings of wanting to die were too overpowering :(

CAN WE ALSO TALK ABOUT DARIUS STALKING NINA?????? Like, I was legit screaming when he showed up at her place. Um, also, can we discuss how Nina was able to afford that nice ass pad? Wasn't she a freelance photographer? But even before that she just seemed to be an assistant? How you getting that dope ass apartment? It had like a second floor and everything but okay lol. NO ANSWER ME HOW WAS SHE PAYING FOR THAT??

So you see I was paying more attention to, perhaps, non-significant details instead of the fucking love story. I will say I struggled trying to decide if Nia Long and Larenz Tate even had chemistry. Sometimes I'd think there was none there, and other times they felt like a perfect pairing, but this did not correlate with the times they were actively together in the film. Like, they'd be in a "good" place in their relationship and I'd be looking at them like "Who was responsible for casting?". Like, the morning after they first fucked I thought was awkward and they looked weird together but was it intentionally awkward because they just had sex for the first time or was the chemistry off?

I will say I was rooting for these idiots to get it together. So maybe the chemistry was okay enough. Like, I was annoyed...when Nina went to NY to be with Marvin? That seemed like a simple bitch move, but okay. Maybe she was still unsure because their break-up was fresh, fine, but I was also annoyed at Darius for being like "Well, whatever, we're just friends, right?". As much as you two fuck and are laid up together and you're "just friends"? Lol okay. Why not just say you were uncomfortable with her leaving? It's not like it would be him telling her not to go. But maybe if he expressed he didn't want her leaving to be with some fucking other man...maybe she would have stayed and their nascent ass relationship wouldn't have turned out all messy? Because shit went downhill fast. Is this how romance and stuff typically goes? My non-experienced ass has no actual idea, but it seems weird they didn't consider their relationship at that point as a...relationship. And Nina even considering Marvin's proposal was so bizarre. Like, you have a boyfriend? But...I guess not??

AND THEN HER DATING BILL BELLAMY!! That was wild disrespectful!! Why would you date your...ex's friend? Though I guess she didn't consider Darius an ex? Which

But Bellamy was even more foul for dating his homey's girl!! THAT SHIT WAS WILD WHO DOES THAT?! Lol I'm screaming. Bellamy (idfk his character's name) was giving me downlow tease. Like him bringing Nina to the party where he knew Darius and 'em would be (though Nina's dumb ass shoulda known too smh). Bellamy was lowkey in love with Darius, no? Like he was definitely at least a hater. I guess cuz Darius was a writery writer. Mr. Author of Gypsy Eyes. Girl, I guess!!

Sigh, this movie got on my nerves. You know what had me heated? Nina taking up smoking. She chided Darius smoking in the beginning of the film and then we see her doing it when they're together later and I was wondering...what that was supposed to mean? Like her taking up smoking is a bad thing and not cute and clearly their relationship is maybe a little toxic? Am I supposed to be rooting for this mess? Again, I guess. Imma just post screenshots I took so I don't have to try to have an intelligent conversation anymore (1. u thot! and 2. with who, bitch? whom are you conversing with?? this is a blog no one reads!! gather ur bearings!!).

The nigga from Drumline. He will always be the nigga from Drumline to me. Is that a bad thing? No! Drumline is a dope movie and he was good in it!! But what is happening here? What are...what is on your head, sir? His whole character was a dick. He looks like one and his head is a bellend and that's why he's wearing your creepy uncle's hat that he sports while harassing "young thangs" on public transportation.

She was like the fucking moral arbiter of the movie, judging all these niggas and their actions. But...you're a woman with seemingly only male friends, so. It was just a juxtapose. I wouldn't be someone hanging around with all niggas and expect not to see some fuckshit. It was weird how judgey she was of them. You know how niggas be. Like, get a girl squad and save yourself the stress.

I was trying to get a good shot of Isaiah Washington's...hair. Can we talk about Isaiah Washington? Sigh lol. I really like his presence onscreen. Very commanding. I wish...he wouldn't have kind of maybe fucked his career up with Grey's, calling niggas faggots and shit on set. It seems that's been kind of smoothed over, I guess? I just want him in more shit, ngl. He's really fun to watch, even though I usually hate his characters. He's always playing someone mad smug and entitled. But that's probably just...him irl lol and he's hired for these roles cuz they know he can deliver. Tragíque.

sigh @ me

idk...they're cute...

Darius doing THE MOST before performing his obnoxious ass poetry. I just noticed Larenz has a widow's peak. Somehow, that is so him. Can we real quick talk about his ~cameo~ on Sisterhood of Hip Hop? Does anyone watch that lol? It looks mad contrived, but I guess so does any reality show. Anyway, when is season 3?? Asking for a friend.

smol

Not sure... But why does Larenz Tate look exactly like Jaden Smith? Let's discuss.

...

So I took...mad screencaps of Darius's body.........

lol anyway let's talk about how Larenz is country af. His liddle accent was so cute throughout the movie. Where is he from? Ugh watch he be from Chicago or something I am always so wrong about where niggas be from. This nigga probably Canadian. That would explain SO MUCH.

eta: HE FROM CHICAGO I'M FUCKING AXMC,SDCREEMAMA,ING GNGNGN

MARVIN WAS A TRIP! And him spazzing about that cereal!!!! Deleet him lol. But anyway he has nice lips sigh

So um, Bill Bellamy was cute to me in this? Sigh, I guess he's an attractive dude. But he's so...annoying. It clouds the hotness.

Don't ask me why I took four screenshots of this idiot, but this scene was WILD!

What sort of model...is this. This nigga looks like a lost member of Jodeci but umkay. And I am SO MAD I failed to capture him fucking bending down. Like, what are you even modeling squatting like you tryna relieve constipation? (Constipation drugs...) I will never forgive myself for not screen capturing his bend down pooping stance please!!