The Babadook (2014)

Yikes, so this was a movie about...a woman hating her child? Like...she didn't like him? lol. But why has this movie been made a million times before though? This movie was giving me strong Joshua and Orphan teas, except Vera Farmiga was replaced by Essie Davis in the child-hater role this time. 

Are these types of movies like really relatable to moms? Specifically white moms let's keep it real. The Babadook wasn't entirely similar to Joshua and Orphan, as it was explicit in those movies that the kid was a demon lol. In The Babadook it was more sketch. Actually it made it out that the mom was more the demon. She was just on some Münchaunsen's syndrome by proxy shit, non?? She was just fucking nuts and projecting that shit on her kid. Is that what this movie was explicitly going for? To show how sometimes moms just aren't fucking feeling it? Because I was reading some reviews about this when it first came out and some comments were like "Wow, so brave - speaking aloud what moms usually keep to themselves" and I was like yikes.com/somebodyhelpthem. 

This movie wasn't scary at all. Kids aren't scary to me. Joshua almost got me with that weird ass little kid because it started making me think that if I had a kid maybe it'd be possible for this little nigga to be gaslighting everyone into inevitably believing I was abusing him. That movie almost touched based in reality, so it scratched the surface of being genuinely fear-making. Orphan with the fucking Russian midget asylum-escapee...did not lol tho I love that movie. Again, The Babadook doesn't make it explicit that the kid is the Scary Thing, but they kind of tried to push that? What with him and his creepy ass book and general freakishness. But isn't this kid a fucking freak because of his freak ass mom? That bitch was weird, okkkay. If you're gettin' scary cuz of a kid you made that's akin to you jumping when you walk past a mirror. Which, is like, so a thing the mom in this movie woud do. Because she was...IN   S A N E. 

But anyway I didn't relate to whatever suspicious ass message this movie was trying to get across because I don't have any kids and specifically no fucking white kids. That's like...the one good thing about my life: no white kids. I don't need to relate to a movie, though. Though it kind of helps with horror movies, now that I think about it, because it makes it easier for me to be scared. This movie had some interesting elements...but I don't feel it was doing anything spectacularly new. It was at least not a total cliché-fest, which is nice, but ultimately I was just like "okay..." Which, tbh, is actually a fairly good reaction when you consider it's a horror film. Usually my response to horror films is to drag them to the very last inch of their life, and then, of course, watch the sequel. Will I be watching the sequel to The Babadook? Well one, I doubt there will be one. This seems like a more pretentious-type, one-off affair. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT! They might do an American remake, and lowkeyhighkey I want that. I need a dumber, more horribly-acted version of this, I think, to enjoy it. If I'm not going to be scared by the general concept, then at least give me some camp and ridiculousness to dig into. They should do like a Tyler Perry version of this. Or M. Night Shyamalan can poop out some mess and for no reason it stars Paul Giamatti. OMG PLEASSSEEE!!!!