Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 2

So this is one of my fave comedies out right now and I'm upset. Upset that I love it and upset that I have to wait a whole entire other year for a new season. This show is mad dumb and I want to do better. But it's also mad funny and I miss 30 Rock :( This is completely an acceptable 30 Rock replacement and I want to cry. 

I have like...a small hate for Tina Fey. And I don't want to like anything she does lol. No, I am not Taylor Swift, and I don't want to...like...be on any side she's on. But Tina Fey gets on my nerves. It's very white feminist try-hard and I'm just sigh. But I do love her...some of her stuff lol. Like, 30 Rock was my everything? Even the not so good seasons? (Lowkey I don't even...know what those seasons were but people say some of them were bad I guess? I can't tell!!!). I was mad upset when 30 Rock ended but also I can't believe that show lasted so long. Like, nobody watched that. People acted like they did...but they def didn't. If I started going around making 30 Rock references all the time--WHICH I FUCKING WILL!!--no one would get them?? I could make references to The Oblongs and people would get those before 30 Rock references and anyway when will I die?? Soon? No, not before season three of Kimmy Schmidt, I need to know how Titus' cruise tour of Mahogany went!! (And btw, that sounds UH-MAZING!!) 

Help me.

So, anyway wtf, I was excited for the show to come back and for me to have something to live for. I have to admit the first episode was a mess...but actually I think I just forgot how fucking manic and jokejokejokefasttalkytalk this show is. Like what do I be watching when I don't be watching Kimmy Schmidt? Slow talking shows with long drawn out punchlines, I guess? So I had to get readjusted. But it only took me one episode and thank god for those Robert Durst jokes. Why aren't people still freaking out about The fucking Jinx?!?!?! I can't believe that happened!! Also, he would be Lillian's first love. So good.

Okay rq I'm gonna talk about what I loved/hated before posting screenshots I took that when I go back to look @ them I probably won't be able to determine why I took them :')

Loved:

-Bae Titus. Again, can I just get a The Titus Show? Or is this one of those things where you need like a white foil to trick the general populace into watching and not just black people? Whatever.

-Titus's Bae. Titus' construction worker boo is cute but I don't completely know about their relationship. It's cute but idk completely! I kinda can't take it seriously just because this show is so stupid lol but I'm like...that boy is such a baby gay. But kinda so is Titus, but like in a different way? Anyway, I'm not writing a fucking think piece about anything happening on this mess, or anything in general, because "think piece" is like an oxymoron, I think. Also I'm a moron sans oxy and I can't concentrate long enough to write anything even remotely readable, even though, judging by the think pieces I have read, that is not even close to a requirement.

-Bae Lillian. I love her and I love Carol Kane and her spaghetti hair. If she dies before the new season imma be feelin some type of way. Bobby D better not kill her til I get my new seaz!! 

-David Cross. Help me, but anytime I see David Cross I get excited. I don't want to be like this.

-Dong! Ugh I can't belieb I talked about Russ Tamblyn's son-in-law before my Vietnamese Bae Dong. Not enough Dong!! Never enough please kill me. 

-Jeff Goldblum!! THE FLY!! Ugh I love him please don't be racist. He looks mad swarthy so I'm hoping he has like Moor blood or whatever and it becomes fine for me to stan after this likely pure-blood white boy the way I do sigh

-That B.J. Novak joke

Hated -- I mean...mildly disliked:

-Um, Andrea? Ech... Like, thanks but no thanks @ this. Who was my fave recent therapist cameo thing in a thing? I think Bob Balaban on Girls. I kinda wish we could get something like that here. Like why are we dealing w/ scenes involving Kimmy's therapist's...drinking problem? It was all very...confusing...and taking screen time away from whom I truly wish to see: Titus and Lillian. Don't ever...do this again :)

-Kimmy? I don't hate Kimmy. I actually kind of care but not really. I care because...she's like the name of the show lol. It's kind of like Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. Who truly cared about Sabrina? It was all about Salem, Harvey, Libby, Amber from Clueless, Soleil Moon Frye, and the fat aunt. But it's like, oh I guess I have to care when Sabrina talks because the show is called her. Fine. Kind of like that?? 

-Jacqueline. Why did...you bring her back? Jane Krakowski is funny and she delivers her scenes and sells the character but I'm just like..........why is she here? lol. She's mad rude to Kimmy and it's kind of pushing it that she's even still around in her life. And then they had the audacity to bring back that droopy faced stepdaughter of hers. At least that bitch only got like one episode, but sigh idk. And then the...awkward references to Jacqueline being Native American and how she's trying to use her socialite status to uplift and free her people or some mess? I just feel like this is very: [Here's our diversity, and also a comment! Not just comedy, you guise!!] *sighs* Fine.

Whatever, here some screenshots:

lol I was so fucking excited about these Robert Durst jokes, please. They weren't even that good and Fred Armisen's racially ambiguous ass looks nothing like him but pleeeeeaasssseeeeeeeee. Lowkey I'm a Robert stan and I feel like I'm revealing myself so imma just fall back but not really SIGN MY BOOBS, BOBBY!! No, I know...he murdered multiple...people. This isn't...something to be made light of. But I like totally get him about just taking that sandwich, that's all I'm saying. You're hungry, steal a sandwich! It makes the most sense!! 

Beautiful.

lol @ those rollers in bae's head sigh :(

Omg I can't believe I forgot about Mimi. Okay so I guess it's fine if Jacqueline stays around if I get more Mimi. I LOVVVVVEEVEVEVEVEVEV Amy Sedaris. She is my everything please don't be racist. Wow I hope she gets her own show. Why was Strangers with Candy cancelled? Why isn't Amy in everything I watch? Can she be someone Elliot hacks on Mr. Robot? Let's go, universe, Amy Sedaris in more stuff and, specifically, in more shit I watch. *sarcastic voice to ensure you ignore my request* Thanks!!!

Just needed a pic of my boo's face. Help me:')

lol oh this was when the asbestos snow was falling. *screams* But can we talk about Titus and his singing which is soooo beautiful but these fucking goddamn jingles and tunes he be singing omfg. That song about the teeth are outside bones - I almost pooped in my pants. I'm lying. No almost - did. It happens a lot not just when I hear funny songs :(

PLEASE THIS SHIT WAS SO FUNNY AND SO RUDE LOL I WAS SCREAMAING  PLEASE DON't  ever DO THIS AGAIANGNGNGN!! 

Oh god I was fucking screaming. Everything involving Dr. Dave had me crying and dying. But when she came out...omg...lol and like....I am crying again rn just thinking about it lol. How Dr. Dave explained that the orca ate her...and how she doesn't like applause and she came out and said it's because when she was inside its stomach she could hear the audience clapping...omg.......the tears in my eyes 

lol omg and when he was voted worst singer PLEASSSSE!!! 

I didn't take any s/cs for the last two eps because I was doing my hair while watching and also because they were trying to do serious moment stuff w/ Kimmy and her bullshit *rolls eyes cuz can't deal with feelings* 

Anyway, when's The Jinx 2?