The Heiress (1949)

Who's more bae - Olivia or Monty? So hard, I have no idea. The Heiress makes me so happy inside that two of my fave classic film star baes are in one movie. I think if I were alive back in the forties I never would have imagined putting these two in a movie. You know how you have faves and you dream of having them in movie? No way back in the forties would I have been like: omg Monty and Olivia! They just seem like they were operating on two different planes at the time. But actually...when you think about it, it's the perfect acting ship. Melanie from Gone with the Wind and pretentious stage actor EDWARD MONTGOMERY "MONTY" CLIFT in a period piece together? It's like the most ridiculous fanfiction. But it exists! The Heiress exists! It's so great I want to cry.

Anyway let's talk about how obnoxious ~perfectionist~ Montgomery Clift is. Lol so every time I hear or read about The Heiress, I hear Monty was like really rude to Olivia. I read his biography that Patricia Bosworth wrote and I think she suggested 1. it was because he felt he was just straight up better than Olivia, acting-wise. Monty was a STAGE ACTOR, and Olivia played second fiddle to Errol Flynn, right? also, 2. wasn't Olivia smashing Willy Wyler? Not to expose bae, but like probably. So I guess Monty felt some type of way about that, but it's like, what's the point of smashing some old white dude if he's not gonna give you great roles? Also who is Monty to be judging anyone for smashing some old dude/broad for a come up? Like, SIPS TEA. 

So my number one bae here has to be Olivia because I can't deal with Montgomery's bougie ass lol. Like, Olivia completely slays and carries this movie but you had THE AUDACITY to be like dismissive and demeaning, ALLEGEDLY?? Girl, okay. You thought. How many Oscars did YOU win for The Heiress? PRECISELY! 

I shouldn't be allowed to write about movies, but anyway, Olivia is also bae here because I just...want to hold Catherine forever in my arms and rock her to permanent sleep. With the exception of Catherine's aunt Lavinia, everyone treats Catherine like absolute shit and piss. The level of rudeness in this film towards Catherine is honestly astounding lol like ENOUGH! 

Let's talk about that dude who like blatantly doesn't want to dance with Cathy at the party. His look of pure disgust and contempt for her when that woman, I think one of Cathy's aunts?, kind of basically makes him dance with her, is so ugly lol. On one hand, I like get it. You ever been to like a family thing and one of your aunts makes you talk to some weird cousin of yours and you're just like UGH? And I'm the type of bitch, like the dude here, to not even disguise how grossed out and annoyed I am. So from that perspective, I get it. But also a lot of times I'm, like Cathy, the weird cousin lol, so I would def get my feelings hurt if one of my family members made one of my cousins dance with me and their face was just like 

Like, 

You're doing the UTMOST.

But fuck a distant cousin. Cathy's own bitch ass father has been dragging her from womb to tomb, birth to motherfucking earth. Like, I CANNOT. I...I just simply do not understand what the fuck Cathy's dad's problem is. LIKE, SIR. This is like the only bitch you really have in the world - you can't find it in your old ugly heart to at least cringe-say one nice thing every once in a while? Every time I watch this...I get confused as to...like does the dad lowkey fuck with Cathy or nah?? Cathy decides her dad doesn't like her after he goes in on this bitch when after Paris she still wants to marry Morris. He lays it the fuck down: YOU HAVE NO REDEEMABLE QUALITIES SO IT MAKES NO SENSE WHY HANDSOME FUCKBOY MORRIS WOULD WANT TO MARRY YOUR ASS, BESIDES YOUR MONEY. IF YOU DID NOT HAVE THESE COINS, YOU WOULD NOT HAVE MORRIS. ALSO YOU SMELL LIKE SHIT.

I genuinely believe he did not believe in his daughter. She did not live up to the idolized perfection of her dead mother, she did not even come close. Oh you don't have an ear for the harp? SHOULDA ABORTED U! Like, I legit believe he just can't stand her because she's nothing like her mother. She's nothing really like anyone, and he can't take it. But at the same time, I do feel he was coming from a place of love. A severely misguided, ignorant one, but a place of love nonetheless. He looked at Morris and clocked his tea in less than two seconds, and wanted to protect his baby from a nigga who'd ruin her life. But at the same time, he himself ruined his child's life, and Catherine even said this, like why not give me a chance to have my life ruined by a dude and maybe it won't feel as bad as how you ruined my life, maybe it'll be fun, anyway you'll be dead, so. Which I agreed with...ish. And Cathy completely snatched those edges. She was like so right that he was just as bad if not worse than Morris, so who was he to be making judgements and decisions in regards to who Cathy lends her heart to?? He's never even come close to giving her the chance to love and be loved, but Morris' fake ass possibly could. 

Okay, but, is it true that fake love from Morris is better than no love at all? Isn't it the same?? To me, it's irredeemable that once Morris found Cathy would only be getting 10k a year, that he abandoned her. THIS NIGGA SWAM TO CALIFORNIA. First of all: 10k in whatever the fuck year this mess takes place is still a lot. But the aunt is all like "Not when you're expecting 30k..." - IF MORRIS DON'T SIT HIS GREEDY ASS DOWN! See, I could be on the aunt's side of championing this fake relationship if Morris hadn't left Cathy the night they were to elope. That just shows that he wouldn't be able to capably manufacture love. It wasn't like the money pot was completely emptied. Why couldn't Morris have settled for the 10k and then gotten some old sugar mamas on the side for some extra income? No what am I saying lol this is horrible. Cathy deserves way better, no, I am Team Fuck Morris. Not sexually - like, metaphysically or whatever. 

Anyway, this movie gets me in my feelings every time. I just want people to be nice to Cathy, and not in a patronizing way like her aunt, or in a manipulative way like big head ass Morris. It's annoying that shy weirdo bitches can't ever get proper love. Maybe a little now in 2016 sometimes, but in 1800 whatever - who was checking for a meek, plain bitch with a perpetually dry dance card? NAN NONE. 

I wish this movie had a sequel. There's probably some fanfiction version of it by some dusty author. I'm too lazy to look. Gimme it. Someone tell me what it is. Don't tell me what it is though if Cathy Placeholder doesn't get some sweet d. Also don't tell me about it if Cathy Placeholder does get some sweet d, but it gives her tuberculosis and then she dies at like 22. Actually...that sounds amazing. Imma be pissed if this shit don't exist I'M TELLING YOU THAT RIGHT NOW!