Splendor in the Grass (1961)

This is one of my favorite movies, but it's super-ridiculous. Like Wilma Dean Loomis goes crazy because she doesn't get dick?? Or?? 

Why didn't Deanie just fuck Bud? Like...what was happening there? Like I'm confused. Was she physically/emotionally not ready, or was she holding back because of societal judgment and shit? Like if she started fucking, everyone would look at her like Bud's wild ass sister, or that Molly Ringwald flapper?? But it's like okay: you're going crazy cuz you're not throwing the puss, so to uncrazy yourself, just throw the puss? Like why Rochester's attic wife yourself just because you don't want anyone to judge you, when there is such an easy remedy? 

I've seen this movie twenty million times and I still don't entirely get it? Like I'm just so entirely confused why Deanie is dickmatized over a nigga she aint never even fuck. And what is so special about Bud? First of all he has duck lips. First and last of all, tbh. Also, he's pulling a fake ass James Dean, imo. Like I could completely tell Beatty thought he was some sort of offshoot of the Holy Trinity: Brando, Dean and Clift. He was like the dollar store version of them lol so his performance is awkward to watch. Beatty was like one scootch above Tab Hunter or some shit imma need him to fall back with the theatrics. Tryna pull an edgy white boy. Oh you're a jock but you're also emo. Your dad wants you to go to like Harvard or Yale or whatever but you just want to farm. Lowkey Bud's storyline was reminding me of Chris Evans' in Not Another Teen Movie and I don't know if that says more horrible things about me, or Bud. I think it says all horrible things about Beatty for not elevating cliché ass material.

But no lol I love this movie. It's really good eventho it's like...Elia...you've kind of already covered this, boo. And not just Elia, but like...the fifties already came through and dragged this material to hell and back. I still feel like Splendor has value, though, of course. It's high level cheesy and ridiculous and half-way cringey at points, but I just feel like it's well done cringey cheesiness. And the performances are fun to watch. Can we talk about how no one ever really talks about Natalie Wood when they talk about actresses from back in the day?? Don't get me wrong, Natalie wasn't like the upper echelon of actresses back then, but I thought she was really watchable a lot of the time. She brings a specific vulnerability, and she's just interesting to watch. I mean, put her in a scene with Barbara Loden and obvi Barbara will show her up, but Natalie still really kills the Deanie role. I feel like Deanie is someone easy to not like lol. Just like her whole being is perplexing in an annoying way. Like, why are you so hype over Bud?? It's just like an annoying way for her to be, and played by a lesser actress I think it would be impossible to be sympathetic for Deanie, imo. But Natalie makes her sympathetic and, thus, makes me dislike Bud, which is how I feel it should be. 

Are we supposed to sympathize with Bud? You're a straight white dude like I couldn't care less, tbh lol. His problems are...what? His dad is pressuring him to take a football scholarship or some shit. Or no, Bud plays basketball, right? ANYWAY WHO CARES?? Nah lemme stop because even tho Bud is like at the top of the food chain, I still identify I guess with going to college because ur parents r like...go to college. Bud just wanted to fuck some chickens and marry Deanie!! Why won't daddy understand?! *eyeroll*

What is the movie doing by destroying the Stamper family? Are they dragging this sort of upperclass sort of white family? Definitely the movie makes you want to be more sympathetic to Deanie, who is "poor". So for sure there's like class commentary and what not. And then also Bud's dad didn't really want him to marry Deanie, right? Because she was a poor? Well guess what, dad?! Bud ended up marrying some Italian bitch who works in a pizza shop, take that!! 

Anyway, I stole some pics from the interwebs and now I'll talk about them. But before I do: What happened on that boat, Christopher Walken and Robert Wagner? What did y'all do? Don't think we forgot. Do not think that. Anyway, here's some pics and words!! 

Fucking drama queens. But lowkey Natalie Wood and Beatty were a cute ass couple. They were messy, tho. But they were messy ass individuals separately, and in general. Man it would've been lit af to have been alive when they were being controversial and dating. Just getting to see Beatty run a train through all of Hollywood would've been fun. I wonder what witch charms Annette Bening put on Beatty to chill his ass out? Or did he just get old af and she hid his Viagra? Either way, Annette is bae. 

But Deanie, girl....why you so obsessed with Bud? Like I'm not even gonna hate...he cute, but he not all that. I never get when chicks be mad sprung over not even all that ass doods. And then she aint even fuck! I could maybe see if he had some life-changing sexual intercourse moves, BUT THEY NEVER SMASHED. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME??? What is wrong with this bitch? lol like chillllllllll!! Also look at his lips this nigga look like Carly Simon girl bye! 

Barbara Loden is completely bae for me. I think she died really early from like breast or ovarian cancer or some shit and I'm heated because she was really talented and it would've been cool to have seen her turn up more with acting and directing. So annoying. 

I really love the Ginny Stamper character. It's just an obvious scene-stealing sort of role. Slutty, bad sister to "good" son Bud. Ginny does abortions, plays ukuleles, and tries to fuck her dad lol and I'm just completely here for all of it. The scene above, though, when she was surrounded by all those dudes was mad disturbing. Like they really went there lol. Is this a regular Tuesday night for Gin, or???? But tell me why they killed my bae offscreen in a car accident and then Deanie's annoying ass mom had the audacity to say some shit like "I knew that sort of thing would've happened the way she carried on" lol like sluttin around equates to being fucking Dale Earnhardt or some shit. 

Ugh I hated Deanie's mom. I didn't like the way she was eating that sandwich, and I didn't like when she basically confessed to her husband raping her so she could get Deanie?? Girl...okay BUT LIKE DON'T ACT SURPRISED THAT DEANIE IS IN A FUCKING INSANE ASYLUM, OKAY?! It's a good performance by Audrey Christie tho lol. It sort of reminds me of Raymond Massey's dad character from East of Eden. The way he "parents" and his ideals obviously negatively affect Cal and Cal is the protagonist so you feel bad for him and hate whatever makes him the ADD, albino jaguar baby that he is. But at the same time the Adam character is still a sympathetic one because you understand kind of why he is the way he is, and also it's played really well by the actor sigh but can Deanie's mom just shut up for once in her life?? 

Hate Deanie's giggling, basic ass friends. But one of my acting bae's Sandy Dennis is in the crew. I used to hate Sandy lol because I think she did several roles like this in the beginning of her career where she's like a follower and annoying and obviously there to just make the main character come across less horrible because wow Sandy Dennis is here so compared to her it can't be all that bad lol. But then I started watching more of her shit and was like oh no she's great. Also she used to date Eric Roberts. That...shouldn't be relevant...but it is. It just is. 

lol Bud's friend is fake af. Who dates their dude's ex-girl? Like, they can do whatever they want...but it's just messy. And kind of disrespectful to your friend? But he obviously aint give a shit about Bud and, honestly, I'M CACKLING.

Yaaas turn up post mental asylum, Deanie. You out the attic, you got a cute 'do and a hat, you marrying that obviously DL nigga you met at Crazy Club, who's a doctor - Wait...was he a doctor? Didn't he say....oh, girl...

lol was this right after Molly Ringwald Flapper like combed her hair over Deanie's desk? Disgusting. Typical thot ass behavior, if you ask me. (You didn't) 

lol please

*that gif of Lo from Bad Girls Club saying goodbye over and over again*

Iconic.

Pat Hingle as Ace Stamper, how you say, chews scenery. Nigga is straight gnawing, and swallowing whole chunks at a time. You want to say to him, please slow down, you will get indigestion. But then the nigga kills himself and the entire extra-ness of the performance is...qualified. 

Lol this reminds me of that Mr. Krabs meem. And it's just so accurate. I want to die.

lol she was like "You're failing". Yes failing at being a fake ass James Dean. Why did JD have to pull a Ginny Stamper, hmm? So annoying. Now we have Warren Beatty! Thanks!! (Please someone take this blog from me).

Zohra Lampert is really cute. Why would you subject her to eternal life on some dingy ass farm with Bud and their child is playing on the floor with a chicken?? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm @ this movie. Like u really tryna play with us by making us think this whole ass Italian bitch wouldn't have been dragged to death by her family for tryna dip off away from the city to go live on a fucking farm with the nigga who made Ishtar! Yeah, right!!!

me after being sullied by the mess of this movie, and you after reading this blog.