Devil's Knot (2013)

Atom Egoyan is one my favorite lowkey shitty directors lol. I feel like no one is checking for Atom like that, so he doesn't get a rep like M. Night, but Atom be whilin lol. Like...literally all of his movies are mad terrible? No, that's too mean and not even true. His movies are how M. Night's movies are to me - Like, what is this? I'm uncomfortably into it...but what is happening? This literal movie I'm watching right now is called The Happening (2008), but I know the opposite of what is. 

The first Atom film I saw was The Sweet Hereafter. That movie really affected me...which made me think it was good...and it kind of is...but also it's completely ridiculous? Lol like there's a storyline where a dad is banging his daughter and they have sensual, romantic love-making in a barn or some shit and then she gets paralyzed in an accident and he stops fucking her?????? And then she's all sad like Why come my daddy won't fuck me anymore?? Is it cuz I'm crippled now?? LIKE THE ONLY REASON THE DAD STOPS FUCKING HIS DAUGHTER IS CUZ SHE GETS IN A WHEELCHAIR??? lol like please watch The Sweet Hereafter. It's like quintessential fake deep. It's like a Devendra Banhart song, but worse, cuz visuals. No, Arcade Fire. Def more Arcade Fire. Their last album. (Sorry, Devendra).

Anyway what am I doing? Idk, I've just been wanting to drag Atom for a minute! Cuz he duped me with The Sweet Hereafter a little bit. Like M. Night with The Sixth Sense. I'm sitting here thinking: Oh, shit, auteur. Then you watch more of his stuff and it's like 

But his movies are very ~~serious~~ and explore "deep" subject matter and topics like the Armenian genocide, mommies boys, and exotic Canadian love stories, etc, so I feel like he gets a pass because 1. not too many people are doing what he's doing and 2. His name is Atom Egoyan. He just kind of has the name of a person you feel like you should respect and whose movies you should think are expertly crafted and groundbreaking. What a fucking scammer lol because his shit is a mess!!!

Devil's Knot is no exception. Number one: Why was this made when the Paradise Lost series exists? Like...the real life documentation of the court trial of this case?? Hmmm?? lol. No, tbh, I was excited when I heard about this movie because I thought it would explore sides from the Paradise Lost films that we didn't see. However, it didn't??? Like...why. Why...did this movie focus so much on like an investigative attorney who wasn't even appointed the case? Just some sideline nigga caping for the boys and he wasn't even successful??? And why cast Colin Firth?? He was mad out of place. His accent was a mess. And then the other main character was one of the moms of the slain boys, played by Reese Witherspoon. I don't clearly remember the Paradise Lost series, but I could have sworn none of the parents were sympathetic. Maybe I'm misremembering or they didn't focus on all of them? But I remember being mad suspicious of all the parents, and at the very least, thinking they were all white trash?? But Reese's character was hella sympathetic? Maybe that's what Atom wanted to do?? Show they weren't just trash and shit? But the documentary was....real life lol. You can't rewrite real life actual shit I seent with my own eyeballs: all them niggas was like two missing teeth away from Ozark Mountain troglodytes. They were all trash and thus all responsible for the deaths of those boys, imo. 

What I do remember is Terry Hobbs. At least, I think?? Ummmmmmm why was Alessandro Nivola's cute ass playing him?? You trippin, Atom!! Terry was ugly as fuck!! Terry was so ugly! The "Hollywood pretty" version of Terry should've been like fucking William H. Macy or some shit, not cute ass Alessandro! You whilin! See this that shit I'm talking about! And Terry turning out to "ALLEGEDLY" be the killer/one of the killers made so much sense cuz he looked like he'd kill some kids! He just had that exact, cliché look. I guess Alessandro kind of does, too. He got serial killer eyes. But Terry had that I'm white trash and I have nothing to live for so why not tie up some kids and sodomize and murder them aesthetic. It was so perfect! Come on now!! 

Okay whatever. Let's talk about performances I liked. This movie was such a mess and so unnecessary to have been made, but there were some good performances, right? Wait...but were there? FIRST OF ALL WHY WAS DANE DEHAAN HYPED WHEN HE WAS BARELY IN THIS??? I'm tired. Is Dane falling off? Like why am I stanning a nigga embarrassing himself for ten minutes of screen time in an Atom Egoyan film? Where they do this at, Dane?! Why are you letting Michael B. Jordan be the most famous one from Chronicle?! *Tyra screaming voice* I was rooting for you!! We were all rooting for you!! 

Anyway, clap clap for James Hamrick. I will stan you, instead. Damien was my fave from the doc (obviously) (eventho I'm still not sure if he's innocent), so it makes sense he was my fave in the movie. I feel it would've been easy to fuck up the character or try too hard to capture the Damien ~~emo~~ essence, but James Hamrick really made this role his own and I was fucking living. Like I almost regretted watching this lol but then James showed up and I like...breathed a sigh of relief. Just a breath of fresh air in a foggy haze of stale ass mustiness. So I'll def be checking for this nigga more. Watch this be his only role I care about. I'm getting one hit wonder teas, but he might turn up again. We'll see. I just cursed you fuck.

No other notable performances in this lol. Maybe Alessandro, and maybe, randomly, Matt Letscher. Also Bruce Greenwood. Because he's Bruce Greenwood. #brucegreenwoodstanblog #whatamidoingwithmylifedotcom

But no other performances of note to speak of!! Like, bye! And this movie had the nerve to come across as ~important~. Atom, girl. I did really love that scene where they discovered the boys' bodies. Not because I, like, want to see boy corpses or anything suspicious like that - it was just beautiful and chilling. I will give you props, Atom - you good at pretty shook-making. Keep up the good work, I guess. Sigh. 

Yo, but why I still don't know who killed them boys? Like, 98% it was Terry, right? Lol. And then that other nigga. No, it's not funny. But why is it so obvious? It's so obvious it seems too obvious, you know? Atom probably killed them. How you gon' kill some niggas then make a whole movie about how you killed some niggas and no one suspected you cuz your name is Atom Egoyan?? Mess. You know what I just got reminded of? Rectify. I didn't watch season 3 because I assumed it was cancelled, but apparently this shit almost on season 4? Who the fuck watches Rectify?! I be feeling like the only person on Earth, and I don't even watch it! Smh, lemme catch up on seaz3. Did Daniel kill that bitch, or nah?! Atom wishes he could pull some shit like Rectify off. No, stay away!!!! Don't do it, boy!!