Big Little Lies, Season 1

1. When THE FUCK is season 2 and

2. Why did I like this show so much?

This feels like the type of show I would've stanned hard for in, like, 2009. Like, really feeling I'm doing something being a fan of some ~high brow~ drama on cable. Like when I first started watching Mad Men or something lol. But this is...2017. A show like this is almost a little stale? Like, honestly? This show was lowkey whack lol. Like the storylines and how...guessable everything was? And also kind of trying mad hard to hit all these points. Like, I don't know if we were supposed to clock Jane's tea from jumpstreet, but I had the entire ~mysterious~ broad figured out by like the end of episode 2, sooooo idk!! And then all the kind of cliché things with the marriages and the kids and the milky ass white people drama. 

BUT OKAY WHY DID I LOVE IT SO MUCH ANYWAY, THO?? I think...probably fairly good to Great acting from the main actresses: Reese, Nicole, Shailene and Laura. These ladies typically to always deliver. Remember when I used to kind of not care about Shailene but saw Divergent and for some reason that changed my mind about her lol. Reese...I like sometimes? I don't feel I'm a Reese fan, but I'm not not into her? And I loved her here, she was funny and like bitchy and like very Reese, which may/may not count as acting but let's ignore that! And then Laura's weird ass. At first when I found out about Laura Dern as a human actress, I was horrified. And I continue to be. But that's a good thing mostly. And my bae Nicole. I stan Nicole almost for no reason. Like sometimes I sit and think...Am I a Nicole Kidman stan? And just feel weird. But she's a good actress and we don't need to get into that too much!! Thank you!! 

So the show is about a bunch of white people from some California beach town or some shit and it's like I already seent The O.C., but anyway! It mainly focuses on like four white moms.

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW AWKWARD THIS SHOW WAS WITH, LIKE, BLACK STUFF? This isn't the type of show...where I'm watching wondering where all the niggas at. This is a story about white people by white people I presume, so I am not looking for fucking Isaiah Washington or CCH Pounder or anything, you know? But I felt weird about two things, as a black person who is constantly feeling weird about certain things lol:

1. Zoë Kravitz kinda being put out there as one of the leads when she was barely in the show and they kept making comments about how her awkward dancing and benign singing was making all the guys in the room have boners?????

and

2. Like most of the music was black? And then it was weird when they were singing Elvis songs towards the end? I can't...tell if this was on purpose. I don't think so??? I think this is just a show made by white people and they have like no idea. Like they genuinely have no idea. And that's...pretty bad!!! lol. Felt weird. Again, don't expect to see any black people in this type of show and do. not. care. if they are there and would honestly prefer if they weren't? Because this sum ratchet white people bs let's keep it real so like I don't need Blair Underwood playing someone's uncomfortable stepdad (I would love that, actually). It's fine! But like...next time just have no trace of black people at all. Not even crumbs of a trace with a Zoë-type shoved awkwardly in to sprinkle some ~sex appeal~ on this dusty shit. I can't be the only bitch you was making uncomfortable with this shit! There are at least three other people who watched this and felt the same way!! So change your show to make sure we don't feel weird next seaz, thanks!!! 

But anyway I mostly liked the show until I remember how lame it was how they presented Celeste's storyline and the abuse going on there. Everyone kept talking about how perfect and beautiful her and the Incredible Hulk were. It was eyeroll and yawn. First off all! Nicole Kidman needs to go back to curly, red hair and people need to not act like she's Charlize Theron in 2004. She's alright. And Alexander Skarsgård is kinda hella awkward? In motion. I could see him being a model (standing completely still!) and people salivating or whatever, but watching him move and talk, he looks like a fucking goof. I would never in my life look at Celeste and Jorm or whatever his name was lol and be like SO PERFECT SO BEAUTY. Like they look MAD WHITE!! Lol smh. And Celeste would clearly be mad uncomfy with him?? And their sons look like children of the corn! Fuck outta here! But yeah everyone was so fooled. 

Lol remember when Celeste was telling Madeline how she and Jorm's fights always culminate in fucking and Madeline was all lowkey disgusted and disturbed lol. Honestly? I feel fucked up because that wouldn't ping my radar like that. What would is Celeste telling me they have actual intercourse at all. They both look like they don't have any genitals. Honestly I would think she was just tryna make me think they have some sexy ass romance but really they just like play patty cake in the gazebo and then Jorm sometimes kicks her hard in the shin when she takes too long finding him when they play Hide & Seek. BUT THAT'S JUST ME!! 

The storyline I thought was really good was Jane's. Wait, not necessarily good. It was kind of hackneyed like the rest (Celeste and her whack ass affair, pleeeeez!!), but the way Shailene played it was really good, and it had...emotional weight, even tho it was kind of awkward to like right away know who the father of her child was...? Lol, like when they were looking for that Saxon dude it was like okay..............it's not him lol. But um, it still gave me some emotions, and I felt very lit af in my heart when she finally sees Jorm at the end and like grips Celeste's arm and shit pops the fuck awf. Can we talk how that scene was simultaneously super amazing but also like really, super bad lol. Just Bonnie's nosy ass alone not minding her fucking business and killing someone's husband lol. Uhhhh did Celeste say you could do that? Idk, girl! And how do you see one arm grab and think something is investigate-able? I guess they painted Bonnie as being like some Mother Earth ass I care for all people type broad, but she seemed fake ass fuck when she was judging her nigga for eating that cereal, so I don't know. 

But like what was up with that waiter dude? Played by Shawn Ashmore probably. I died when Jane was like Ur Str8? But then took him as her date to that terrible themed party??? WHAT THE FUCK IS AN AUBREY HEPBURN ELVIS PRESLEY THEMED PARTY? What is that?! That was one of the moments where I felt okay this is on purpose and they're making fun of how lame these type of people can be? But it wasn't clear because like everyone unironically participated sooooooo??? 

Girl, whatever, when season 2? Stop playing games--WAIT BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW THE AFFAIR HAS DEACON AS A COP AND BIG LITTLE LIES HAS KELLY AS A ONE????? Am I the only lame that is excited about the dumbest shit? Judging by all the  hype this show got: no!!!!