Wednesday, May 31, 2017

The People vs O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story

Everything about the OJ trial was obscene. This made me really angry to watch, like are so many people genuinely this stupid? When Marcia wondered why the jurors were even there I had the same question. They literally sat there for like a year with one fixed thought in their mind that they never shifted from even with all that fucking evidence laid before them? And then that fat idiot put up the black power fist after they were dismissed? How is that okay?? I am flabbergasted. And people still are on some OJ didn't do it type shit. Okay, so who did??? This is super-upsetting, but at least his ugly ass is in prison now. Or is he out? Um, I hope not, clearly he's a degenerate. Like all this dude did was throw a football and people made him out to be some sort of God? This is so crazy to me. He didn't even like black people! This is embarrassing.

I'm assuming this series was made by white people? That's good because they clearly decided OJ was guilty lol and filmed the series from that viewpoint. The way Cuba (I'm just now realizing his name is Cuba) played him as being obviously guilty and then all those close-ups of Robert Kardashian's sad-sack face feeling ~weird AbouT STuff~*~. Can we talk about this dude? So...the series paints Robert Kardashian as a bit of a moron. Or maybe that's just how I interpreted it. I get he was OJ's friend for twenty years, but some stuff is not adding up. 

1. I don't believe anyone could like genuinely be OJ's friend. It's really hard for me to understand how people don't see immediately past ~charming~ types. Especially good ol boy, pat on the back, cigar smoking, let's play cards and golf types. And especially, if they are black lol wtf. Also, 2. it seems clear to me that everyone knew OJ abused Nicole. Now these are Hollywood types, and it appears Nicole was maybe a party type wild child a little bit? Not sure, but if she was friends with Faye Resnick and Kris Kardashian, then... So MAYBE they saw all the drama in the relationship as just, some shit that was happening with the crazy Simpsons. But you still knew he abused her. So if it turns out one day he's been accused of her murder, how is that a stretch for you to believe?? 

Robert was getting on my nerves. Like a bit I was feeling bad for him, but he spent way too much time asserting OJ couldn't have done it, only to late as hell start asking questions. And then he lowkey seemed mad scared when he made his ~realization~. Girl, bye. I don't know what Robert could've done once he switched over his thinking. Like I doubt he could've stood up in the middle of the trial and shouted that OJ DEFINITELY did it, but maybe he could've done something? Idk, I feel like the show wanted me to feel sympathy for him and I did because he was played by Eeyore-faced David Schwimmer, but he should've cared more about defending Nicole and fell back on all that OJ love, especially since he was like the one and only suspect, um, ever? And they had all that evidence? And OJ tried to run? And he clearly did it??? 

BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT, like, all the Kardashian shade? It weirdly mainly seemed to be aimed at the kids, and, like, mostly Kim? Or am I wrong? lol. Because 1. they did not shade Kris the way I thought they would. Idk if it was because she was (oddly) played by one-note ass Selma Blair or what, but they did not go in on her at all. Not that the Kardashians besides Robert Sr. needed to be focused on at all, really, but it was weird how they made a point to sort of make these finger-waggy judgments at the spawn of Robert. That scene where he was in the restaurant telling them it was more important to be a good person or whatever than to be famous and they showed Kim like, looking away and not listening? Lol, why shade her so thoroughly? It was strange, but funny. But what's the deal with the Kardashians? Like their black guy thing? It seems really pointed considering they're linked to this specific trial. I wonder if lowkey the show was trying to say this could happen all over again? That's super-awful, but like, maybe hilarious? Let's move on! 

Let's talk about my bae Shapiro. Lol, no, I'm mostly joking. I thought Travolta was really funny as Shapiro, who was a mess and a half. I was dying at him trying to get a plea deal and asserting they'd lose the case. Honestly I'm annoyed because I feel if Cochran had never come on, they would've lost lol. OJ's coon ass didn't even want him, whyyyyyyy. But whatever, I loved Shapiro, like him throwing OJ under the bus when they did that press conference after he escaped. Yo, but this is so crazy to me that all this mess happened. Like he was really out on the freeway in that Bronco with a gun to his head. And people like watched it on TV like a sports show? And then were rooting for him? I feel depressed. 

I've never liked Johnnie Cochran. I like barely know anything about him, but I'd see him in the news and he looked like some hustling church pastor, and I don't like that look. I always gave side-eye to those types who'd be out there "repping" black people. Something doesn't sit quite right. It's like people now who call themselves activists on Twitter. I feel people who are truly making change, you don't hear about. They're not giving extra press conferences on television, and making themselves into a flashy celebrity. But maybe that's how shit gets done. Or, at least how a circus is created. 

So I never knew Johnnie had a past history of domestic violence. So of course he doesn't give a shit, he ~relates~ to OJ. Though I know lawyers aren't like, allowed to have morals - you just have to service your client. But like Johnnie really wanted this case and completely ignored the whole OJ DEFINITELY murdered his wife thing, to make it about race. Like he was promoting himself more than anything. Look at what Johnnie can do for black people. I'm highkey upset. Maybe I wouldn't even be so disgusted if the way he ~lawyered~ wasn't so appalling. It was like all stunts and bullshittery. And the jury is compiled of common simpletons, who are all dazzled and shit. I liked the episode focusing on the jurors, and the boredom prison they're placed in while they serve, but ultimately showing that did nothing to explain how they ended up voting Not Guilty. Them not having TVs in their hotel room doesn't explain why they were won over by that pitiful The Glove Doesn't Fit showcase. OJ was CLEARLY DOING THE MOST to make it look like the glove didn't fit!! I mean!! This isn't a joke, this is real life and two people were murdered but carry on with the histrionics, I guess. 

So obvi I'm Team OJ Did It, so I'm Team Marcia and Chris. They are my babies and I want to protect them. Leave Marcia alone about her ugly ass hair, and stop calling Chris an Uncle Tom! They want to protect the people and get justice for Ron and Nicole, you know, the people who were fucking stabbed a million times in cold blood????? Yeah, them. A part of me feels Marcia and Chris bunged this whole thing, but maybe I need to consider the time this case happened, right around the Rodney King riots, no? So Marcia and them thinking this is an open and shut case, not realizing how fucking political this was about to get. Never mind the fact that OJ was a celebrity. And this took place in LA, non? So, not so open and shut. 

I felt awkward for Marcia that she was leaning so heavy on Fuhrman's testimony. As if that would really matter in the grand scheme of things, even before it was revealed he was a Nazi. CHRIS TOLD HER ASS! Marcia was being hella a white feminist. Also I feel they probably should've stunted back at Cochran. But Marcia particularly felt strongly that the evidence was there, so what else. Which yeah, you would think. But Chris would be like, ehhhh idk, and she'd just dismiss him. It was clear she was not totally aware of everything she needed to aware of. Like having no idea how she'd come across with her hair and attitude, and then thinking black woman would in general identify more with Nicole than OJ. She was proved wrong on these things, but didn't take it serious enough for me. Like, oh shit, I gotta reevaluate my whole game plan. The only significant move she made was hiring someone black on her team, but she barely listened to him. I still feel they had a pretty strong case, especially when they made their closing arguments. If I was on the jury and initially was Not Guilty for whatever reason besides inescapable stupidity, their speeches would change me over. I actually thought Johnnie's closer was pretty weak. If the glove doesn't fit you must acquit? Nah. Nahhhh lol like, you really thought you was doing something. Those jurors were fucking morons. I thought my bae with the glasses and hair was gonna come thru but she voted Not Guilty and I had to force myself to stan for The Demon, whose punk ass was bullied into voting with majority consensus. I thought her ass was sposed to be good at gathering jurors' edges?? She's a FLOP! 

Acting-wise, mostly everyone was very good. I really loved Travolta as Shapiro lol. Like, please. I hope Travolta starts playing more douchebaggy type characters now. That's a real look for him. Sarah Paulson, I love. I just love her. She's great and I hope she keeps getting put in everything. Sterling K. Brown FINALLY got a come up. The first time he stood out to me was on this show that got immediately cancelled on FX about an eating disorder support group or something called Starved, I think? And ever since then I would see him and go, oh that's that black dude from that terrible show where someone ate a brownie out the garbage. But now he has a name! lol smh. I loved him as Christopher Darden, I just wanted to cradle him in my arms and breathe my hot breath on his glasses and clean them off with my t-shirt that is full of grease, so I have wasted everyone's time, ultimately.

I actually quite liked Schwimmer as Kardashian. I don't know what Kardashian was like or if he nailed it, but I was really caring about his simp character, so I feel Schwimmer did something. Acting stand-out for me was Courtney B. Vance, but that's most likely because he got to play this quite out-sized and specific character. Also I think Cochran is the only one I like, really know. Or, I've seen him all the time and know how he presented, and I think Courtney completely embodied his persona. It was almost like watching the real one. I felt extremely disgusted lol. Good job! 

Honorable acting mention to my Canadian bae, Bruce Greenwood? I just always love him, please let's move on! God, I have no idea who played Ron Goldman's family, but they were effective. I felt so bad for them, omg at the end when the baby Chris like hugged them crying. PLEASE ALL OF THAT WAS TOO MUCH. But wow when the dad was going the fuck off when Marcia had her first meeting with him. That was intense and amazing. The chick who played Ron's sister, I assume? She barely had lines but she looked so sad and distraught all the time and was entirely nailing it. They were great but now I feel weird being like GREAT JOB PORTRAYING UNSPEAKABLE GRIEF! *thumbs-up emoji*!!
I would say Cuba Gooding Jr. was an acting weak spot. I like Cuba sometimes, but I am not sure he was really giving me OH JAY. But to be honest, I've only seen like photos of OJ, I don't know if I have seen him in action too much. So I don't know how he really was, but people were talking about him like he was maybe suave or something? Cuba was giving me none of that. His version of OJ was like someone's crackhead uncle sober for a few hours so he can go to his grandma's funeral and get some scrimps at the repast lol like idk what was going on. Also, Cuba does not have a football player's body. It would have been more impactful to see some big, bloated bitch sitting up there and wondering why he would think to ever put his hands on a woman. Cuba did at least do a good job of making OJ unlikable, but then it was weird because it was like, why does his family stay around, why does he have any friends or supporters? Idk, man, I mean, Chris Brown still has a lot of fans. R Kelly... numerous other horrific losers. I guess gen pop just has nothing going on upstairs. That's nice. 

This was a crime of passion. Why would Colombian drug lords or whatever angle they were trying to sell cut Ron and Nicole up like that? Unless it was a message to OJ. But pretty sure they only found the blood of those three individuals at the scene, so no. OJ felt some type of way about Nicole smashing Ron and killed them, plain and simp. Remember when he started crying as Chris detailed basically that happening, after his daughter's dance recital? Why was he crying?? Come on if I was on the jury I would be completely convinced, this is insane.

So at least two people are dead from OJ's defense team. Karmic debt. F. Lee Bailey got his ass disbarred or some shit and Shapiro testified against him smh & lmao, annnd what happened to Shapiro? Seemingly, nothing, so side-eye @ lowkey bae. Marcia and Chris wrote books, no? And I think they were successes. I'm dying that they both basically quit. Wait but I need the tea on their romance? How'd it go down?! (No, and Gross.). I am the most disturbed about OJ's younger kids. They just...gave them to him? I wonder if they ever suspected him? Imma assume they was like Michael Peterson's children of the corn and keep it moving.

So this American Crime Story idea is VERY lit. As of now, I am not as excited about the Versace story as I was about this one, but one positive is I know way less about that one than the OJ case, so it'll be enlightening in the very least. And it may be turnt. I think Penelope Cruz is in it? That's bae, so we'll see. I REALLY want them to do the JonBenĂ©t case. Because that will be a fucking disaster, and I need it. Or maybe I need to get my life together? No, I'd rather watch TV. 



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