So I feel like I learned a lot about Scientology's ~practices~ and the era of L. Ron's...rule from The Master. So like the whole first half of this doc I'm just being obnoxious like "siiiigh didn't niggas see The Master? How is this super-exposing or revolutionary in any way?" And honestly even once the documentary got into the era of Miscavige's reign I still felt like I knew all this information already. But I'm also someone who spends an inordinate amount of time on the internet reading so much fucking useless shit and...I guess maybe a lot people on Earth...aren't? Hence the reason for this documentary, I guess? Was this made to enlighten people?? I feel weird that I already knew about the Nazanin stuff and abusive practices at Sea Org and how the church turned Nicole's kids against her and blah blah blah. And I felt even weirder that...they left stuff out. Like...Miscarriage's missing wife, yeah?? And...what the fuck happened with Katie Holmes? Like spill the tea wtf lol.
But I guess some things were interesting. This was the first time I've seen actual footage of L. Ron and heard his voice. This dude is lowkey a genius. Like I guess all people who run religions?? Scientology is newer compared to shit like Christianity and Catholicism, which are both also based off fictional novels. What I love about L. Ron is that he based his "religion" off some fucking science fiction stories he wrote. Or he based Scientology off of...a psychology book he wrote...based off science ficiton he wrote? lol this dude is trash. But people are stupid so of course this is a billion dollar business. I mean non-profit religion. WAIT CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW MISCAVIGE THREATENED THE IRS AND THEN THEY WERE LIKE "LOL NVM ABOUT THAT TAX BILL" What??! The government is trash, too; everyone is trash lol.
But anyway, yeah it was interesting to learn more about L. Ron and see his creepy ass face
like what is this? How anti-charismatic. Not even like...looks-wise lol, but...he wasn't giving me anything that would make me think he had some sort of...Well, I guess he was dynamic. But he seemed hella off-putting to me. Like I get Miscavige, he seems intense and over-powering even for a midget, but...L. Ron is sort of gross lol. He seems like a leering old uncle or some shit. But idk I guess this was in the fifties or sixties or whatever and everyone was ugly and this is the type of charismatic leader you got I guess. Idk, sucks for the people who had to rule under L. Ron's reign. Miscavige at least looks sort of dapper in his cute suits
Nice manicure, hair game strong. He's just really serving me a lot, and I get it. CAN WE TALK ABOUT MISCAVIGE. Now I said that "I get" Miscavige but lol no I'm just kidding. First of all you're twelve inches tall. You're a lucky charm and you're not going to tell me what to do. The whole time I was watching, I'm just thinking "sigh, white people"...because honestly. How is this lil tyke even remotely intimidating? And who the eff signs on to a religion where they're like "lol pay to get to the next level" like this is candy crush or some shit. The minute someone mentioned some shit about payment, that'd be my cue to peace the fuck out. If I'm joining a religion, there better be promises of getting me money, not the other way around lol what the fuck are you even talking about?!?!
Okay let's talk about Paul Haggis. This dude was a Scientologist for like 35 FUCKING YEARS. And he's sitting up here like "I can't believe it took me this long to wake up" blah blah. HOW DO YOU ACHIEVE THIS DEEP ASS LEVEL OF DELUSION? And how much did it cost?? lol get. the fuck. out of here! He's talking about...he wanted to be a screenwriter or whatever and he wanted to improve the relationship with his girlfriend...he meets some Scientology nut who tells him "give us all your money and we'll fulfill your every dream" HELLO REDFLAG SCAM ALERT, YOU CANADIAN DUMMY. If you had the money to give Scientology, why didn't you just use that to fulfill your...own dreams?? Yourself?? Like what?? But I mean...I guess it worked for him because he got to produce The Facts of Life lol whatever.
John Travolta...seems like someone being held hostage lol. And that's...according to the doc, pretty much exactly what's going on. My opinion is that he was sort of a lost soul when they snatched him up. And...that's understandable to me. I understand people joining religions and getting into spirituality to sort of fill up things inside them they feel are missing? Even though I'm suspicious these religions and teachings actually help. Maybe they do who knows! So, I get it, to a degree. But once you start seeing the religion you've joined is a mess...definitely don't keep being in it? Definitely don't like...pretend you don't see things?? Definitely don't get mad at your friend when she calls you from Sea Org where she's being abused and her kid is being starved and then like not even do anything about it??? Also, how bad were your auditing sessions? I mean, really?? If there were no Stephen Collins-level confessions, then I don't think you should be letting them hold this over your head. Like if it's just about you being gay...no one cares?? Also! Has Scientology ever made good on these threats to release information from auditing sessions? I saw some stuff in the doc where websites were disparaging flounced members, but I'm wondering if that was information from their auditing sessions or just shit they were saying to make the "squirrels" look bad? And also! If they do release your auditing records if you quit the church, if that's something they actually threaten....why would you even want to be a part of a religion that does stuff like that? I mean, if they've already threatened you, fine...but what about other people who know about the threats before joining...or before getting really intense into auditing? Or maybe they don't start threatening until you're too far in?? Idk, I would call them on their bluff, though.
But how hot was Travolta in his youth though??!?! Sigh. I blame Scientology for the wiglets. They stressed my boy and he lost all his hair and then Miscavige is trolling him, like, "Oh, it's okay Johnny we'll get you custom-made wigs" and they're all made from like cow hair or some shit lol and Travolta wears them like "yeah i love it" like convincing himself they look good. It's like when you go to the hairdresser and they fuck up and you cringe-smile in the mirror when they ask you if you like it and then later at home you cry on the toilet. I bet Miscavige told Travolta to make Battlefield Earth, knowing it'd be trash. Like he's 100% Regina George being like "omg cute skirt". Who is Travolta? Gretchen? Karen? The bitch with the heavy flow and wide-set vagina? Lol probably now he's Damian in the hoodie and glasses no shade lol
Alright let's talk about Tommy!
No! Not that one! The other one! The evil doppelgänger!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
That interview is nothing but insane. There are no other words. Any Tom Cruise interview is insane lol. Maybe he's straight-up insane. Like even without Scientology, he is a nut job. And then maybe nutjobs are like the perfect type of people to join this religion. Of course they believe in all that alien shit. I mean, maybe aliens and stuff exist lol but that's...I feel like if you believe in that stuff...it's best to keep it to yourself lol. Like, don't...don't make it your religion?? Definitely definitely do not do that. But Tommy strikes me as someone who is off brain-wise, and also easily led, I think. Definitely very into other people's opinions and being led by stronger personalities; people more secure with themselves, whether that be fake or legitimate self-assuredness. I feel like he really listened to Nicole, who seems smarter and stronger than him, and probably he respected her opinion. But of course she was blown out of the fucking water by Miscavige, who was a force and just had a stronger army. Well, not even that the army was stronger, just that he had one at all. It was like Nicole vs. all these other crazy alien-believing ass niggas. She was never not going to lose, so. I feel bad for her that she lost her kids, and her husband. I don't think she wanted to not be with Tom Cruise; definitely they were pulled apart when she was labelled an SP. So that's sad, but she's better off with Keith Urban and his flatiron.
CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT FOOTAGE OF TOM CRUISE'S 42ND BIRTHDAY PARTY WHERE HE SNATCHED THE MIC FROM THAT WOMAN SINGING AND FINISHED THE SONG?!?! WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?!? LOL AND WHAT WAS HE WEARING AND WHAT THE FUCK WAS MISCAVIGE WEARING I'M SO PISSED I DON'T HAVE SCREENSHOTS FROM THAT MESS IT WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL/HORRIBLE THING I'VE EVER SEEN?!?
No, but all kidding aside (not really), what is this Nazanin thing?
What did they do to my beautiful Nazanin? If she grew up in this religion I'm not going to throw her any shade. Especially if she's very family-oriented, and leaving would mean losing her family. I...just don't want to discuss people who grow up in this thing; their choices for staying, etc. I'm not even going to question why Nazanin did not protest when she was delivered to Tom's house. It's possible she actually had no choice, which I don't want to even think about because...that is horrifying. I mean, I feel like the doc basically implied that...but they didn't straight-up say it, so I'm going to ignore how she was kidnapped and held hostage at Tom Cruise's house and forced to be his fucking plaything or some shit. AND DID HE DRUG HER?? What kind of fucking "headache" disorients someone to the point that they don't understand what you're saying? Idk, maybe it was a migraine. Or maybe Nazanin just didn't want to talk to Miscavige and was like "let me just pretend I don't understand what the fuck this nigga is talking about". But my thing is: how the fuck is Tom gonna yell at Nazanin when it was his roofies that caused her to be like that??? Hmm, Tommy? Hmm??!? And then she's just thrown away to go scrub toilets. Well, you dodged a bullet there, Nazanin. Like imagine if you would have ended up having to marry Tom? You'd have to look at his weird stomach like all the time. Like...he'd make you look at...like keep your eyes open during oral?? And look?? At his?? Stomach?? *shudders* He'd probably make you watch Far and Away before sex. lol or Top Gun, more likely. Just that scene where Val Kilmer chops his teeth on loop. I'd like to stop imagining Tom Cruise having sex now. OMG REMEMBER WHEN THEY SAID MISCAVIGE WOULD LIKE DISCUSS TOM'S SEX LIFE AND LIKE HOW HE WAS PERVERTED.
1. WHAT IS TOM INTO? DEFINITELY BUTT STUFF. BUT LIKE...ALSO PROBABLY ELBOW CREASE STUFF, TOO, RIGHT? SOMEHOW FIG NEWTONS FIGURE IN.
2. MISCAVIGE IS INTO CRUISE, NO? I was very being reminded of Gilda, which I recently watched. Miscavige is totally Ballin and Cruise is Johnny, right? Hmm I'm reaching lol, but I was really getting those vibes from them.
3. If they would just admit they loved each other and fucked each other sensually up the ass I bet Scientology would be immediately disbanded. I bet 17 cents that would happen. It's all the...money I could find. I could only find pennies. Steal. I stole them.
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