So this movie was boring to me. I mean, it's titled "Passionate Friends" lol, come on. And I'm not even entirely sure which "friendship" the title is referring to: Claude and Ann Todd's sham of a marriage, or her thing with Trevor Howard's vaguely doofy ass?
Like...is he wearing an ascot???
IS THAT A FUCKING ASCOT, PLAYBOY?!?!
Ann Todd starts the movie out getting on a plane to go to Switzerland. She's meeting Claude Rains there, who's her husband. When she gets there...she starts reminiscing about some dude she used to fuck with. Then there's some slightly confusing flashback bullshit to her courtship with Trevor Howard (confusing only to my slow ass??), but...eventually I figured it out. The gist is: Ann and Trevor were beaus. Right? And then...Trevor was like "lol marry me", but Ann was talking some shit about how she never wants to be "owned", basically saying shit like "why can't we just chill; why do we have to make things complicated" - like I just updated it to modern-day speak. lol, I guess. Anyway she says SOLID NO to marrying this nigga. It's made clear she won't marry Trevor because he aint got no $$$$. He's a lowly professor and Ann...I guess wants to be taken care of. The thing that bothered me about Ann is...that she wasn't like straight with...what she really wanted. Claude Rains knew: she wanted basically a business arrangement sort of deal; love wasn't important at all as long as whoever she was married to was rich. But Ann made it seem like Trevor was super poor and they'd never be able to make a living together. But it's not like he was some street beggar, professors make enough money, you know?? And also she loved Trevor...so...couldn't they have made it work?? I was just bothered that the movie was trying to make it seem like it was some super-tough decision and she was so wracked with guilt and conflicted feelings and blah blah. Like, straight-up: she wasn't going to marry Trevor because he wasn't rich. Bottom line. And idk what all this ~~I don't wanna be owned~~ business is: um, you're owned by Claude Rains?? Like I guess it's not a problem being owned by someone who gets you written about in the tabloids??? Like, seriously, spare me with this movie.
I wouldn't have really cared about the dumb logic of the characters...had I actually cared about them. Well, by "the characters" I mean Ann Todd's and Trevor Howard's. Like they're good actors, I guess, and not uncomfortable to watch or anything lol...I just didn't really care about them. Certainly didn't care about their bland ass courtship. I should feel like there are pretty high stakes! Right? Or I should at least be able to spot were the "passionate" part of "passionate friends" comes in....right???? Like. Could you be more lame with your silly ass romance??? COULD YOU?? I was really Team Claude Rains like the entire time lol, even though he...had questionable ideas of what a marriage should be? Like I felt bad for him...he seemed to have low self-esteem or something?? lol, like, it was making me uncomfortable. But I guess maybe he really did love Ann Todd and that's why he was such a mess, and couldn't just go out and find another pretty gold digger? Aw, sad lol.
Speaking of Claude Rains! Like, he killed me in this movie, so...at least I got that. I can't believe I spent so many years not caring about Claude. I hate when it takes me forever to care about really interesting actors sigh why am I like this. Now that I care about him, though, I feel like rewatching Notorious is going to be awkward. Like what if I'm Team Alex? Jesus, no, please - that will ruin the movie for me omg. Or...make it even better?? Like I'll be so excited when Alicia starts getting sick from the poison??? NO!!
But anyway, I really loved Claude in this, and I loved when he'd get yelly and intense. Like I was 100000%%% here for that shit. Omg at the end when he WENT AWF on Ann lol when she came back to the house. And then immediately was like "lol no jk" - that was just really beautiful. And I can't believe this movie had the audacity to pull a ~talking to someone who has left the room off-screen~~. He's apologizing to Ann, but this bitch has already ran out to go Anna Karenina herself in front of a train. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE SORT OF UNCOMFORTABLE ENDING. I felt weird...about it lol. It's like...Ann tries to kill herself, Claude saves her, and then I feel like there's an implication they deserve each other and will stay together? Like, really they're the soulmates in some weird horrible way?? Okaaaaay *nervous laughter*. *more nervous laughter cuz i just wrote nervous laughter surrounded by asterisks*
CAN WE ALSO TALK ABOUT THESE PASSIONATE FRIENDS POSTERS I FOUND WHERE CLAUDE RAINS IS GIVING SO MUCH SHADE
Like this^ one I posted above. LOOK AT HIM LIKE "YUCK"
"uch"
OR THIS ONE LIKE "what tf is this bitch doing?..."
"...y when i call the movie house u aint there, ho? huh??"
WHY THE FUCK AM I ALL THE WAY IN THE BACK?? WHO ARE THESE UNFAMOUS NIGGAS???
i'm claude rains
Come on, are you serious? What is this?? Why is this doofy nigga wearing an ascot touchin up on my bitch
and I'm a cloud?? A cloud. are you serious? I'm a third wheelin ass cumulus cloud and my bitch wife told me she was going to see some movie called "First Love" and when I called up the movie house to see if she had arrived they fucking said no. Okay. I'm the one who gets cheated on, but I get the creepy cloud in the sky treatment?? Okay. Is it because I have the most foreign-sounding name in the cast or
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