1. I'm almost certain I've seen baby eating a condom scenes in another things. Like when I saw their baby eating the something while sitting on the grass, I automatically assumed it was a condom and said out loud "oh hah omg the baby has a condom in its mouth omg comedy ha". Like, not those exact words, but, like, that vibe, you know????
2. Um, when Jason Mantzoukas came in and was like "your baby has AIDS".
a. siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh
b. what doctor would ever do that??? Like, I get it was for "comedy" but no you're not even trying come on
c. why...would Rose Byrne immediately freak out when he said that? If your baby was chewing on a condom that had AIDS-infected sperm or whatever in it...there's like no way that'd immediately show up on blood tests, right?? Don't you have to wait three months or some shit to see? Though I guess they have faster tests now?? But not that fast?? And also it wouldn't automatically be AIDS?? HIV first dummies???
d. sorry this definitely could have been funny, you just didn't make it funny
e. I hate this movie so much omg :') like all i could focus on was like the medical fucking inaccuracy of the scene omg :') please stop letting seth rogen :') make :') movies :') i think :')
f. like, I liked This Is the End, but for like...Danny McBride, who is always perfect no matter what, and James Franco, who is James Franco - not because of Seth Rogen, he is seriously insanely non-funny to me I don't fuckin' get it, b.
g. LIKE WE GET IT: YOU SMOKE WEED! Jesus could you be more white??
h. COULD YOU?!
i. i'm disgusted by these comedy films coming from the ~~~apatow~~ camp about like...boring suburbia life and parenting and how tough it is..........to not struggle with any major issues?!?!? that you get so wrapped up in what some lame ass frat boys are doing next door?? also, hello, if the noise is bothering you CLOSE YOUR FUCKING WINDOWS, MAYBE?? or, idk, at least get some goddamn curtains or some shit WHAT IS WITH PEOPLE IN MOVIES/TV WITH NO FUCKING CURTAINS OR BLINDS OR SHIT ON THEIR WINDOWS??? OR THEY HAVE THE WINDOW WIDE FUCKING OPEN WITH NO SCREEN IN BETWEEN JUST INVITING BEES AND FLYS AND BIRDS IN AND SHIT?? HELLO?? WHO DOES??? THIS????
j. I was excited about: Jerrod Carmichael, Craig Roberts, HANNIBAL BURESS (chill omg), Dave Franco...and?? That's it, I think. I was excited for Ike Barinholtz, but no @ him in this movie. But I was happy my other various babies were in this even though they didn't really give me anything?? Like they at least had screen time so sigh ugh siiiigh I can't wait for Hannibal's comedy central show siiiigh and Craig Roberts and Dave Franco are in a bunch of other movies sigh I'll get over this I'LL GET OVER IT. Wow, but can we talk about how terrible that De Niro party shit was??? Uhhh so awkward and terrible lol. Or was that the point? Because their references were ~~~off~~~??? Ugh, please. And why did Jerrod have to be Samuel L??? Like were they too afraid of white face or what???? come on you weren't afraid to have Ike saying "nigga" twice SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM, FAM?!? lol ugh
k. You know who I wasn't excited about? Efron. Like, lowkey I hate him?? I honestly blame Charlie St. Cloud lol. Also his weird muscles. He looks like he should've been kidnapped into the Fast & Furious franchise. He's probably mad he hasn't been yet, tbh. LIKE DUH REPLACE PAUL WITH ZAC HELLO, HOLLYWOOD. Tbh, I'd probably actually watch one of those movies if Zac was the new Paul. loljk that's disgusting. But anyway Efron was actually....good here?? He had like random emotional scenes that were...idk, not bad? lol Not...super-terrible? Why am I forgetting he totally killed my soul in 17 Again and I loved that movie so much? Why do I hate him so much now??? Oh, right, weird Fast & Furious franchise body. Also that Charlie St. Abortion - seriously I could not have hated that movie more. WHY WAS IT RANDOMLY LIKE A HORROR FILM?? AND WHY DID HIS GHOST BROTHER HAVE SUCH A FUCKING SASSY CUNT ASS ATTITUDE? LIKE WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ACTUALLY FUCKING ARE?!
l. Some things in the movie were funny, but like accidentally. And I can't remember what it was I laughed at...lol....liiikkkkeeeeee
m. It was awkward when Seth Rogen tried to get self-aware by referencing Kevin James movies. What are Kevin James movies, exactly? I think I've seen Kevin James in two...okay three movies: Hitch, Paul Blart, and Grown Ups, which I remember nothing from. People should reference King of Queens when they're trying to make a point about Fat Guy Little Lady stuff. Or slob husband, smart wife bullshit. That's like...that show is like the quintessential example of that. But...idk if Kevin's movies are...well, I guess. Because also I'm remembering that mess he did with Vince Vaughn where his wife was fucking Winona Ryder and she was like some horrible whore or some shit lol. But it's weird for Rogen to address that...cliché...and then the movie still be exactly that?? Though I guess Rose wasn't like perfect or whatever. But she's still way hotter than Seth and she has an Australian ac--LIKE SPARE ME THAT SHE'D STAY IN AMERICA FOR FUCKING SETH ROGEN. Foreign exchange your ass back to Australia and hook up with a Hemsworth bro, come on! Like she's fucking Bobby Cannavale in real life!! GIVE ME NEIGHBORS STARRING BOBBY INSTEAD, THANK YOU. NO, THANK YOU, THANKS!!!
n. imdb tells me "Seth Rogen's wife" read the original script, which focused more on Seth's shitty friends, and said it didn't make sense that his friends would care about some fraternity war, change it to focus on his wife. NO ADULT HUMAN BEING PAYING MORTGAGE ON A FUCKING HOUSE WOULD CARE ABOUT THIS, but okay!! Lowkey I feel like she was trying to angle to play the wife role or???? lol
o. how did Zac & co. put those airbags in the chairs??? Asking for a friend.
p. WHY WAS THAT PART WHERE ROSE BYRNE TOURETTES-YELLS "KEEP IT DOWN!" SOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING AWKWARD? I remember seeing that in the trailers and cringing every time, and like...prepared myself for that moment in the movie. Like, I was ready. AND SOMEHOW IT WAS WAY MORE CRINGE-WORTHY INT HE MOIEE?EE?V?EE? HOWW?WR,HWWYYWY???
q. Chris Mintz-Plasse's....dick....around...Carlo Gallo's neck?? okaaaaaaaay, but why??? why do this??
r. hmmm that breast-milking scene? Like, from a feminist stand-point lol...was I glad it was there? Was I glad Rose Bryne called Seth a fucking idiot when he dropped the breast pumping device?? Was I glad she made him milk her tits?? Yes, but wow do I not ever need to see that shit again :')
s. so apparently the end scene where Seth meets up with Zac working outside of Hollistercrombiepastle or wherever was "completely improvised"? lol, I wouldn't brag about that if I were you!!!
t. SETH ROGEN TAKING OFF HIS SHIRT IS NOT A FUCKING PUNCHLINE. lol i see it, i see it. ahhh. it totally is, though, just not the way he means it :')
u. so I feel like these letters aren't properly aligned. I'm using a blogspot app to write this, for one. Yes they have an app, yes it's as useless and irrelevant as blogspot itself. wow watch they erase my entire irrelevant blog off their entirely irrelevant site lol. wait is it blogspot or blogger?? It's blogger, right? Yeah the app definitely says blogger. sii gh
v. I think i missed some letters? I had an inappropriately lengthy amount of time struggling to decide what comes after r. S, right? Like google is my friend. Except sometimes I don't feel like talking to him. Like he's really extra and...smug. You know? There's just no way I can google the alphabet and not be haunted by this for the rest of my fucking life; he'll never let me live it down. Fucking ads for Sylvan Learning Center at the sides of every fucking pornsite I visit. LET ME LIVE!!
w. w comes after v, right? JESUS LORD RELEASE ME FROM THIS HELL CAGE
x. I'm pissed at Efron over some new shit. For taking Max away from so many episodes of Catfish this season. Like, that Tyler Oakley episode was rough. Wow and the one with the Miss Teen USA bitch, OMG IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU WOW lol. Max would never make it about him. I did quite enjoy Angel Haze, though. She was funny and blunt. And I love how she kept saying things like "i hate liars" and "every relationship i've ever been in ppl have lied!!" lol she's gone through some shit, and i'm here for it. I'm here for her pain. This is an Angel Haze Pain stan blog. I also liked Alex Shaffer, he's a cutie. lol when Chitara was taking off her jacket to fight that bitch and he tried to step in lol omg. But Max is back I'm excited like he really needs to be there to chill Nev's extra ass out. And I really don't need any more footage of him shirtless in a fucking hotel room LIKE PLEASE! NEV, PLEASE!! STOP IT!!! lol remember when he was in the car and was like "so I just got back from yoga" WHY DO WE NEED TO KNOW THAT, NEV? JUST TELL US WHAT THE TEXT YOU GOT SAYS!! lol ugh he is so unnecessary.
y. lol what else? I really want to for no reason get to z.
z. Remember when Zac went up to the AT&T booth? And he was like "what's AT&T?" or something? I couldn't tell if that was supposed to be a dig at AT&T's irrelevancy, or Zac's dumbness. I...thought it was a joke about how no one cares about AT&T..............but apparently that wasn't the bit? That scene, though, ended up OH YEAH I REMEMBER I LAUGHED AT THAT SCENE. It was like, for no reason, the funniest part of the movie I think lol wow this movie was absolute trash :') keep up :') the :') good :') w:") or:"))) kkk:")))))))
No comments:
Post a Comment
Hey