Short Term 12 (2013)

Bruh. 

First of all, I was not prepared for this. Idk what the fuck I thought was going to go down in this movie, but I'm annoyed it wasn't titled You Will Get in Your Fucking Feelings, so I could avoid this mess entirely. Mostly kidding. Like, I love getting in my feelings, but a cool heads up would have been nice. Like, you can just tell by a summary or trailer or whatever that a movie will fuck you up, but I didn't really know too much about this movie beforehand, so I went in way too open. My guards weren't up at all and I'm a little salty about it whatever no I'll get over it no I'm fine. It's fine. 

Okay so before I get into talking in my unintelligible vernacular about this shit, can we all just take a moment to remember when Brie Larson was like some random popstar??? Right??? Her and Skye Sweetnam????????????????? No this happened, right? I will go look it up right fucking now and there better be proof I hope I didn't dream this shit. 

YES!

THIS! FINALLY OUT OF P.E.!! LIKE, WHAT?!!??! No, she was like 15. Also I don't think I've ever actually heard any of these songs but I will embarrass myself by saying I'm pretty sure her videos played during Degrassi marathon commerical breaks on TeenNick. Hmmmmm. I probably used those moments to take shits and get like bagels with cream cheese on them or frozen pizzas that I'd put a ton of extra cheese on. Wait - what am I doing? I just wanted you to know my idea of afterschool "snacks" were like full-on carb-loaded meals and also that I regularly, religiously watched Degrassi marathons. There weren't even enough Degrassi episodes back then for marathons to be acceptable, were there?? Like they played the same episodes over and over again. Not the Manny abortion one though because 'murica. But definitely that one where Rick pushed Terry in that cinderblock garden. Actually, they didn't play that one enough. Ugh, I miss Rick. 

ANYWAY!!! Still talking about Brie Larson! I loved her on United States of Tara. Like, I loved that show wholly and was annoyed af that it was cancelled but they kept Nurse Jackie. Look, I love Nurse Jackie. Or, I love Jackie and Merritt Wever but hate everything else???? United States of Tara was just a far superior show but like thirteen people watched it ugh whatever people have no fucking common sense seriously. Anyway I loved Brie. But like I wasn't thinking about her entering the pool of ~serious young actors~~ you know? I wasn't looking at her like she was Carey Mulligan, or Mia Wasikowska or whatever. So to see her in this movie killing it: I was...happily surprised? And now I'm excited to start watching her career? I read in some profile of hers (actually it was an almost-embarrassing profile she did with Shailene Woodley. Like it was cute but they're...*special*) that she got the Ma role in the movie adaptation of that grating ass book Room? Look I only read like 40 pages of that mess because that little boy made me want to throttle his simple ass, but it really does seem like it'd make a cool movie, so I'm pumped. Ugh, who says pumped? 

So Brie killed me in this. She plays Grace, who...I'm not entirely sure what this place is. It's like a holding center or some shit for bad ass kids? Like a group home for bad kids, and I guess a lot of them have been abandoned by their families. I can't tell what sort of requirements you need to have the sort of job Grace has. Is this like whale training at Sea World? Where you have all these insane ass responsibilites but literally anyone can walk in to apply and you get paid like 10 dollars an hour and then someone ends up getting their legs eaten off and it's like: this job should be more complicated to get. There should be more training and...the pay should be like a million dollars a year??? Maybe????? But anyway, Grace is a "supervisor"...of these little hoodlums. The movie opens up on Rami Malek's first day working at the center. Mason, Grace's beau and co-worker, is telling some story of some kid who escaped the center and Mason followed him around until he shit his pants?? And then this got the kid to come back to the center so he could tell everyone about Mason shitting his pants?? How does this cute story end? The kid escapes again and is found two days later dead in the bushes yay!! 

Let's just talk about Rami Malek real quick. Let's talk about when Jayden spit on his face and he got all disgusted and horrified and rubbed Purell on the infected area. Let's just talk about the screenshots of that I took. 

Look at his pants and his belt and shirt

Hand sanitizer is very drying. I don't think a person like the character Rami plays would ever put some shit like that on his face. He probably uses like Kiehl's or La Mer on his face. No way is he fucking up his cell turnover with an alcohol-based product like that - let's just keep it real. I want (no, need) authenticity in my films. 

And then Marcus came through giving Rami hella side-eye. Glorious. 

My thing is: why didn't Rami run screaming after Mason told that story about the kid he followed? I don't know, I guess it wasn't that horrible, but Rami seemed horrified. And then when that adorable little ginger boy came running out and they had to chase him down??? Rami looked fucking terrified and I was totally him. Like the faces he was making I was making and I sure as shit would have bounced, fuck all that. Or like when he introduced himself to the kids and said how he always wanted to work with ~underprivileged youths~ and Marcus was like WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??? I would have been like lol byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Byeeeeeeeeeee. Bye byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Like, no thank you. Rami's character really struck me as someone ~doing charity~. Like, he straight up just said that. This was a temporary thing for him, so it was weird he put up with all the crazy shit happening. Why didn't he quit and go work at an upscale soup kitchen in Silverlake or some shit handing out that tea with tapioca balls in it to poor hipsters because ball tea is like so 2000 and late??? Well anyway I'm glad he didn't leave because I love Rami and I'm just really happy I got to see him rub hand sanitizer on his face. New fetish? Or one I always harbored that was hidden but then awakened?? Either way, thank you. 

Wait - why is this ~review~ so disjointed? Anyway let's talk about Marcus!!! So lowkey the true star of this shit was Keith Stanfield/Marcus. 

Right away he was killing me with his deep ass voice and his anger and I was just like: ugh, oh boy, here we go. Marcus is turning 18 soon and I can't even fucking imagine what that's like for ~orphans~. Like, do they not get starter packs or anything from the government??? What do they do like where do they go wtf? Someone brings up birthday plans but Marcus just asks if he can shave his head. And I'm like: ugh, is his only option to go into the Army? That or...for some reason him wanting to shave his head made me think he was going to kill himself? I don't know why I connected a shaved head...to suicide? I don't even think I'm right, despite the fact that Marcus did end up making an attempt on his life later in the film. But the shaved head thing was just...for some reason, making me really upset and sad. And just his body language and performance was killing me and I was like uggggggggggggh. AND THAT SCENE WHEN HE RAPPED. Kill me please. Omg. And then after Marcus was finished Mason was like "....I don't know what to say, man". Yeah it's like really clear anyone off the streets can just walk in and apply for this job lol because seriously. That rap was horrifying but also at the same time I was like: okay where da mixtape at? Like, thinking in sort of an urbanish tone????????? 

I'm glad...he had a happy ending because I was not expecting that. The whole time watching this movie I just got the vibe all bad things were going to happen and it would end on some bullshit. You're giving me Marcus, you're giving me Jayden and her horrifiying octopus leg eating shark "children's story"; you're giving me cutting scars, you're giving me multiple sexually and physically abused individuals; you're giving me Brie Larson looking hella depressed no matter what. Like, she's holding a baby and a cupcake at separate points in the film and all she's giving me is "please release me from my misery". This movie was just giving me a lot of fucking pain and sadness and I just assumed multiple people would end up dead or having irrevocably fucked up their lives--OKAY LIKE AFTER MARCUS TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF AND MASON AND GRACE TOOK HIM TO THE HOSPITAL AND GRACE IS ALL "I CAN'T DO THIS" AND LEAVES. And then outside in the parking lot she's trying to get on her bike and Mason is like "no, we'll just ride together" AND YOU COULD JUST TELL GRACE WAS GOING TO SAY SOME LIFE-ENDING SHIT TO HIM. AND SHE DID. And Mason's face is like

He's just staring at her like this AND I WANTED TO THROW UP. I hate this movie seriously. Like it was good but I wish it would burn to the fucking ground. No, you know, I felt like that at this^ point and when Grace was fired - but the end...ugh thank god was...uplifting. Jesus, thank god because I was really getting fucking pissed off lol it was just too much. However, had it ended...on a bad note I probably still would've been here for it because I do love unhappy endings but idk this is a rare instance where a "nicer" ending was very much fucking welcome. Like maybe I almost cheered seeing little gingerboy tie that flag around him and come running out of the building???? 

Ugh, this movie, yo. 

This is the type of shit that should be getting Oscar noms, no????? At least for acting???? But, no, I know that shit is all politics and if your studio or whatever can afford a campaign fine whatever. But it would be nice to see more movies like this up for nominations. I'm sure it got other awards, especially Brie, probably, right? I read a lot about her performance in this when this movie first came out so that's good it was recognized in some way. And I'm hella excited to see what else she'll be doing. Not going to see The Gambler tho lol stop that.