So I walked away from this movie really wanting to see Jodorowsky's version of Dune. I hate sci-fi shit. I'll only like a sci-fi movie if it's like ass-packed with a bunch of actors I like, por ejemplo: Prometheus, which is apparently a shitty film??? But is it??? I mean come on: Fassbender, Idris Elba, fucking Sean Harris, all those other ones I at least mildly care about - It's a perfect film. Come on - Guy Pearce cameo as a fucking old dude!! What other sci-fi movie is out here having random Guy Pearce cameos and you can't even fucking tell it's Guy Pearce? Exactly! None!
The sci-fi genre is just really off-putting to me. Like seriously mostly every sci-fi movie I've seen has made me want to die, and not in a good way. But I just accept it's not my motherfucking cup of tea. Also fuck tea, team coffee. Jodorowsky's version of Dune would totally be coffee, though, right? I've never seen any of his films. I just checked imdb to make sure I've never seen any of his shit lol and I found out Alejandro is an Aquarius and so we're sign sisters. And also it explains so much. It explains that I actually believe in horoscope shit, and also that I'm ignoring that thing going around about how all the signs have changed because of moon rotation or some bullshit and apparently now I'm a Capricorn? Nah, fuck that!!
Anycheeto!! I've never seen any of Jodorowsky's movies, but I'm interested. From the clips they showed in the doc, his movies look random and weird as hell and also they were made in the seventies when everyone was fucked up and brain-damaged from LSD or worse. So, like, even really atrocious garbage from that decade is amazing. I'm hyping it, but also not really. Like, it's true. You can watch any movie from the seventies and find at least something to be like "oh, damn" about it. And, like, I've seen Frogs. There's some unique ass shit going on with that movie, don't sleep on it too quickly. loljk it is a terrible film, but it exists and is insane and that is the seventies defined. So, like, I want to see this dude's movies, because they look crazy and...well, Jodorowsky is crazy, right? In the doc, one of the dudes--I think Michel Seydoux--says you have to have a little madness to make movies, right? Or was he specifically talking about making Dune?? Let's just address how he's acting like Alejandro is only a "little mad".
Like. And did my guy compare making movies to raping women? No, raping wives, specifically. Because apparently there's no such thing as just having sex with your wife?? You have to rape her?? To??? Make babies?!?!?!?! And how does??! that?!?!?!? compare?!?!? to !?!?!!? making ?!?!? films?!!?!!:!:
This...explains why people like Woody Allen, Polanski, Bryan Fuller, etc are so revered, right? Like, full-on, you have to be an actual human being rapist to be respected as a director. OKAY, COOL! Nah, like, it's just good to be informed.
So anyway I'm really sad this particular version of Dune doesn't exist. But...hmm. What was the real reason this movie wasn't made? Was it because the ideas were too ~~far out~~ for Hollywood, or was it because Jodorowsky had all this extra ass shit going on with like fucking Dalí and Orson Welles' fat ass and fucking Pink Floyd and just all this drama? This movie sounds like it would've been hella expensive. Idk what the fuck 15 million in the seventies is equivalent to today, but prob a lot. And I wonder if it was maybe way too much for this crazy idea. Like you can't look at all the prep work Jodorowsky did on Dune and get this confirmation like: yes, this will be a success! It's a risk blah blah. What made me sort of uncomfortable was how Jodorowsky was sort of lambasting I guess Hollywood's attitude, and talking about how money means nothing while handling a fucking wad of cash lol. Idk, he just seemed hella tone deaf, and...probably like the sole reason his movie wasn't made. Like, idk, if you want studio support, everyone knows you have to make major compromises. I don't get why...Jodorowsky didn't just produce and release this on his own?? Am I just real dumb? Could he have not done that? I mean, how did...he make his other films? Très confused, bruh.
But oh well! lol And no, I don't want to see some newer version of this mess, or a cartoon version. I want Dalí, I want Orson, I want fucking Mick Jagger and Amanda Lear and David Carradine and Jodorowsky's random son in the roles they were promised. Because seriously that movie sounds amazing and I will never get it and I'm sort of mad? Right? Like, at this doc for even presenting these ideas to me that will never come to fruition. At least not cinematically, which ugh.
But I'm over it!! At least this doc introduced to me the magnificence that is H. R. Giger
What a fucking dreamboat. And I'm so pissed off because in my excitement like googling pics of this dude I saw some shit like "rip hr giger" and I was like "ugh what?!" So this dude is dead - great! Just when I fucking get into it!! I can't even fantasize about running into him on the street somewhere or at the grocery store staring at those rotisserie chickens while wheezing mechanically. And then I walk up and laugh and he's like "why are you laughing" and I'm like "the totalitarian complex", which means literally nothing, but he totally giggles! Those dreams are dashed now because he's dead!! Unless...unless maybe his ghost haunts me? But why would his ghost haunt me? This nigga's ghost doesn't know me! Wait - do you think they have internet in heaven or most likely hell???? Wow maybe he reads my blog! Please haunt me, H. R. Giger!! Fill all my holes with your ectoplasm jesus what am i doing
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