I watched this because I love James Cagney and he's in the movie, so. Was I expecting to like this? Tbh, I had no fucking idea what it was really even about. I think the description tcm gave was like "ex-con tries to go straight by becoming a photojournalist" or some shit. Pretty much that's what the fuck this mess was, I guess. Except Cagney's character Danny...doesn't really go straight. I mean, he does and he doesn't. And I guess that's the point of the film - that even though he has this "straight" job, he's still a fucking...criminal at heart? ??????
LET'S TALK FIRST ABOUT HOW HE QUITS HIS GANG. Let's just talk about how he quits the gang, period. WHEN THE FUCK DOES THAT EVER HAPPEN?? He--HE MAKES THEM LIKE TAILOR SUITS FOR HIM AND SHIT and then when they're in some apartment he's like Hey, fellas, I quit! So just give me my severance check and then I'll be on my way!! K thanx!!! Thanx sweetie :) Thank youuuuu :)))
SINCE WHEN?! SINCE WHEN THE FUCK CAN YOU JUST QUIT A GANG LIKE THAT? The only way out is in a box, right? I thought those were ~~the rules~~? Also I hope it isn't really obvious I just quoted Malibu's Most Wanted. Though of course I hope it is obvious, which is why I called it out. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh is that a freakin musketughhhhhhh. But it was totes bogie that Danny just quit his gang/mob, right? Like even if he was sort of the leader, which I don't actually believe he was...that shit doesn't happen! Like, imagine Al Capone being like "lol I'm over this, like I want to open an Etsy shop, guise!!!" and then...his mob people being like "lol okie dokie here's an envelope full of money$$$ byeeee!!!" NO.
So after Cagney leaves his fucking gang and no one fucking stabs him or throws a carafe full of hot coffee in his face or anything, he jaunts on over to the newspaper place where he'll be working. There he meets up with Ralph Bellamy, whom I surmised Danny knew in prison?? And Bellamy promised him work??
CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT RALPH BELLAMY FOR A SEC
LOOK AT THIS FUCKING PROFILE, B. This dude is hot, right?? Like some mix of Michael Pitt and Jason Segel you never fucking asked for and if someone like presented it as an idea you'd be like "uch - fuck no!" but then Frankenstein or some other similar freak makes it and you're like "huh. Okay. Thank...youuu. Even though--like, I didn't want this, but...I'm...happy it exists. So, thanks. Begrudgingly, though, because like I said before I didn't fucking ask for this."
BUT WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE A DRUG ADDICT BUT HANDSOME AS FUCK ANYWAY? AND I'M NOT EVEN INTO THE DRUGGIE LOOK ANYMORE THIS ISN'T FUCKING 2005-2008.
AND LOOK AT HIM STANDING BESIDE 2 FOOT TALL FUCKING CAGNEY UGH AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW I LOWKEY SHIPPED THEM? Lowkey, because I sort of hated this movie and was only like 33% invested in what the fuck was going on. And also I ship fucking everything. Like, it's all I do now. I like need ships to keep me interested more than half the time. And this limp ass movie certainly needed a ship.
Should I go back to talking about--no, I just found a bunch of pics, so I'm going to talk about the pics and maybe coincidentally also discuss the ridiculous movie in the process of me talking shit about pics from the movie I found which would not make it a coincidence wow I really shouldn't have dropped out of college but come on I'm 2 cool 4 skool haha oh god
Okay, so I felt hella weird talking about how hot in an old-timey way Ralph Bellamy is. Like I was betraying my #1 baby James Cagney. I don't love Ralphie B more than you, James. I never even cared about his existence until I saw this movie and him walking around in those tight ass vests--NO, I'M SO SORRY PLEASE DON'T BE MAD AT ME. I LIKED WHEN YOU TOOK A BATH. I LIKED EVERYTHING YOU WERE DOING EVEN THOUGH IT WAS MORE THAN OCCASIONALLY OVER THE TOP. FOR INSTANCE, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WERE YOU SWEET TALKING PATRICIA ON THE PHONE LIKE THAT WHEN YOU BARELY KNEW HER?? LIKE CALLING HER SWEETIE PIE AND HONEY LIKE SHE WAS WIFEY BUT YOU MET THIS BITCH TWO HOURS AGO??? DOING KISSY SOUNDS AND THIS BITCH'S FATHER JUST SHOT AT YOU FIVE MINUTES AGO??? HELLO???? WHY??? AND THEN SEVERAL TIMES DURING THE MOVIE YOU MAKE THESE LITTLE YELPY MOANING NOISES OR SOMETHING? I THINK DEFINITELY ONE TIME IT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE DOING THE BATH AND YOU GET ALL SENSUAL ABOUT THE LAVENDER BATH SALTS??? HELP HI HELLO WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ALSO, PLEASE CONTINUE!
I love these shots from when Danny just got out of prison and was riding around with his gang bitches or whatever, and ugh he looks so not into it hellpp plz stop
PLEASE CARE LESS
UGH LOOK HOW DISGUSTED HE IS BY HER TOUCH. lol I don't even think it plays like this in the movie. Pretty sure he fucks both those broads. But even more pretty sure he doesn't, he just takes a fucking bubble bath in their house or some shit. And, that's like, all he wants?? Ugh you beautiful 2cm tall angel.
Oh, shit, I forgot...about him stealing the photo from that fireman. Is that what this pic is from? CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW HE FUCKING STOLE THAT PHOTO FROM THE FIREMAN'S FUCKING BURNED DOWN HOUSE THAT HIS WIFE BURNED TO DEATH IN???!?!?! HELLO?!?!? HI, HELLO?!?! Like...that was sort of fucked up. Right? This dude's wife is dead and...you steal prob the only pic he has left of her?? Um, okaaaaaaaaay. Like how is this better than...being a mob person? Plz explain sweetie. But, again, I guess that's ~the point~ of the movie. I think?? But is it?? Because he gets a happy ending and I'm just like "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm does he deserve one?" lol idk man. Like the whole "once a criminal always a criminal" thing is only cute when like the protagonist isn't robbing a grieving widower. Just my opinion. :)
Oh wait no this^ pic is from when he stole the execution invite letter from that dude, right? That dude he like locked in a bathroom closet orrrrrrrr
Okay annnnnnnnnd I'm just posting this for teeth. I think here^ he was getting in tussles with the other fucking paparazzi-type picture---YO, I JUST REALIZED THIS MOVIE IS CALLED PICTURE SNATCHER. lol, so...maybe picture snatching...is the point. Ugh why do I need for there to be a point? I was just...like really bothered about him stealing from that fireman lol like put that photo back right now omg
Patricia was cute. Though she looked...too young, perhaps?? Like Cagney could've been playing her dad instead of that fat motherfucker standing over on the right. Can we talk about him? ugh I don't want to. He was really extra, but in like a bad way. And he had a possibly completely out of place Irish accent???????? But maybe not. Ellis Island or something happened close to the '30s, right? I legit have zero idea, but let's pretend he came over from Ireland and they fucking let him be a cop and that's that :) But come on pal how the fuck you chasing baddies when you got a fucking entire other person tucked inside your waist band? This nigga looked very Jared pre his Subway diet and I was just concerned he was going to collapse and die loljk he was annoying as fuck that would have been a treat and very welcomed. LIKE YOU CAN'T JUST SHOOT SOMEONE BECAUSE THEY'RE SWEET TALKING YOUR DAUGHTER, EVEN IF THE SWEET TALK IS DISGUSTING, AND EVEN IF HE IS AN EX CONVICT. Actually...
...How do I feel...about Danny taking a pic of the execution? Idk, it's definitely less-worse in my mind than him thieving off that fireman...but it's still skeevy as fuck. But I wasn't here for the fucking manhunt for him that occurred after all the other journalist snitches found out he had a camera. Like why are you...chasing this dude? For free? Like remember how one of the police people from the prison was like to the journalists: OKAY EVERYONE SPLIT UP SO WE CAN FIND THAT SUCKER or whatever??? Why would...any of the not-police agree to go on the hunt for Danny?? Again, for free?? Those snitches, yo. I was totally Team Danny when he was running through the trains going through all this drama. 
Like, my man, have you been through the sewers?? HE JUST TOOK A PICTURE - ALL YALL NEED TO TAKE SOME CODEINE OR SOME SHIT AND CHILL THE HECK OUT. Hmm and maybe I should take my own hazardous advice and chill out on the caps okay thanx ugh
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